Helping out a friend. Sonnet.?

GayGuy2011

New member
Okay, can someone help out my friend with her Sonnet? It has to be in iambic pentameter.

http://www.iaza.com/work/110224C/iaza14895289127300.jpg << That is the poem is.

Line Ten, which reads, "May his love and mercy flow through us with love". is redundant.

Could someone have a look at this poem, and suggest different words to use?

Thanks.

(Don't bash on the religious part.)
 
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