ok so, i have a sonnet i have to do for english.
It has to have 14 lines, right?
The sonnet has to be set out like this..
A
B
A
B
C
D
C
D
E
F
E
F
G
G
every A rhyming with every A, every B rhyming with every B, and so on. This is all i've got so far.
It’s a small village, she lives in poverty
So young, looking after her little brother
Her family’s always faced tragedy
She takes the place of her mother
Brothers sick with Hep. C
Dad’s gone, living another life
Mothers wasting with HIV
Most likely going to die
She sits there contemplating
Wanting to escape her life
Around her Family’s dying
She’ll be the only one alive
She wants to be free of this sorrow
Release may come tomorrow
But the last 2 lines i'm not really satisfied with.
i wanted to say something like, not wanting to wake to tomorrow. or something like that, is there anyway you could re word it.
In fact i'm not really satisfied with any of it. I like the story it tells, like the story line of it, just not really happy with how i've worded it.
Do you have any ideas on how to re word the whole thing so it actually sounds like a proper sonnet. I can take constructive criticism, but be mature about it. Thank you.
x
It has to have 14 lines, right?
The sonnet has to be set out like this..
A
B
A
B
C
D
C
D
E
F
E
F
G
G
every A rhyming with every A, every B rhyming with every B, and so on. This is all i've got so far.
It’s a small village, she lives in poverty
So young, looking after her little brother
Her family’s always faced tragedy
She takes the place of her mother
Brothers sick with Hep. C
Dad’s gone, living another life
Mothers wasting with HIV
Most likely going to die
She sits there contemplating
Wanting to escape her life
Around her Family’s dying
She’ll be the only one alive
She wants to be free of this sorrow
Release may come tomorrow
But the last 2 lines i'm not really satisfied with.
i wanted to say something like, not wanting to wake to tomorrow. or something like that, is there anyway you could re word it.
In fact i'm not really satisfied with any of it. I like the story it tells, like the story line of it, just not really happy with how i've worded it.
Do you have any ideas on how to re word the whole thing so it actually sounds like a proper sonnet. I can take constructive criticism, but be mature about it. Thank you.
x