HELP!.. Will this horrific chain of events lead to health problems?

Skwerl

New member
i was tired this morning and there where just to many tubes of health related personal hygiene products to deal with... i put hemorrhoid ointment on my new tattoo, A&D ointment on my face, moisturizer in my hair, hair product on my toothbrush, and toothpaste in my butt... every part of my body is changing either red, purple or green... i think one or more of my extremities needs to be amputated... i feel really itchy and burny... my right ankle is starting to swell and my right arm has been twitching for almost two hours now... am i prignet?.. my girlfriend has dread locks!..
 
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