Help, why has the sex changed?

[Jennifer]

When we first got together he was "ready"(if you know what I mean) just by kissing me for a minute now a year later(and living together), we do it maybe once a week(someone said that is normal), but if I didn't initiate it, we never would. Sometimes it takes him a little while to be ready as well. He has gained about 20 lbs since we started dating and was about 20 lbs overweight when we started, it doesn't bother me looks wise, just health(I wouldn't want him to get huge though). I have gained 10 and was 20 lbs overweight when we started dating(trying to loose it). I don't think my weight is the case because when I had gained the 10 he was still all over me. He is very efectionate, kisses, hugs etc....but the sex thing he always says, "Not today", "too tired" etc...We are together all the time except during work hours 8-5, mon - fri, but we text or talk a few times throughout the day. and there is nobody at his work he would sleep with so if he is cheating it would have to be some quicky at lunchtime which I doubt. Should I be taking this personaly? When we do have sex he seems very into it but he also was never much about pleasing me.
He is 37, I am 34.
Thanks!
I try to spice things us but he gets shy. About his body. I don't think he is uncomfortable. He walks around naked and doesn't care.

 

[Helpful23]

I read somewhere (sorry I can't remember where) that this is normal in marriage or long relationships where people live together and that it is typically not connected to cheating. Typically sex at home increases when a guy is cheating. (Weird I know, but that's what I read.) The exact same thing goes on with me and my husband. We have dry spells where we don't have sex as often and then we may have a particularly frisky week where we have sex a few times. We are both very busy and one of us will be in the mood and the other won't because of stress or fatigue or whatever.
If this is really bothering you, you need to look at why. Is it because you need more sex (masturbation is always an option), or is it because you feel hurt by him not wanting to as often. You should figure out why it is upsetting you and then tell him this and maybe figure out a way you can work this out. You should not take it personally. I used to and then I finally realized that he gets tired. There is a myth that men are always in the mood. This is just not true, just like women are not always in the mood.