HELP! My wife went on a trip and I don't know how to cook anything!?

Learn to love the frozen food section. Basically it involves turning on oven/microwave and following instructions. And eat some fresh fruits/vegetables so you don't get scurvy. She should have left you instructions... that's what my mother always did. Don't bother with the rice cooker.
 
Every man should know how to cook something. All you need is a gas grill. Steak, chicken, chicken wings shrimp, fish and veggies.
 
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