HELP. MOVING OUT TOMORROW? PLEASE DONT JUDGE.?

B

brittany

New member
please dont. ive only been with my bf for 5 months but known him a bit longer. my stepdad who adopted me will not allow me to go anywhere unless there is a parent. ive been wanting to move out for long but never good bc of money.

im going to stay with my bf until next semester, then i will take out loans to either go to school for phlebotomy or continue 2 more years for el ed. my parents are very strict and make me do whatever they want(i have to go to church unless i work or am sick, even tho i dislike the church bc no one talks to me, and i wasnt allowed to live at school, im not allowed to go to baltimore to visit my bfs parents, im not allowed to be at his house with him unless a parent is there)

BTW, IM 20. lol. and i have a ring on my finger(left hand ring finger) promise/pre engagment. i know we haven't been together long but idk if there's been many days when we're apart. problem is, my parents are getting stricter, and my step dad is mean to my bf bc he's afraid every guys going to get me pregnant.

if i move out tomorrow is that dumb? i mean, what fun is living at ur parents if i can't do anything(i have no friends bc of this, and no life). my "friends" stoped asking me to hangout like they try but i can never do anything. oh and he'll take away this crappy 96 mercury ford so that i can't even get to school
 
I am assuming that you are in a location where majority is age 18 and so are an adult and can do what you want to do.

If I were you I'd tell my mother and stepfather that their rules are excessive and you can have no friends because of their rules. Tell them that you need to have more reasonable rules or you are moving out. If stepfather hits you, file charges against him as it is an assault. Don't try to make him mad just keep calm.

You need to get a job and not just live off the BF. I assume this is all okay with him.

I would agree that you should not be having sex until you are married, from a religious standpoint, but you are 20 and if living on our own can do what you will. You should be able to have friends if you stayed at home, but I can understand them wanting you to have a parent as they don't want you to have sex but to be married first. And a pre-engagement ring is not an engagement ring and is not a wedding ring.

So if you can not work out something that is acceptable to your parents about seeing your friends and having more freedom (without involving staying at the BF's house) then you may have to move out.

It is pretty early in a dating relationship to be moving in together. You will have to find other transportation as you won't have the use of the vehicle. What are you doing with your work money now? Maybe you can use that for an auto. Will you be paying the BF for some of the living expenses or not? You might want to gather some clothes and get them out, along with some possessions before you talk to them. You don't want them saying you can go without your thngs. Actually you could probably get the police to come back with you to get your things if that were the case but having some clothing and important things already packed and out the window or something might be the way to go.

You can not expect that they will pay for any of your education. So you will hae to pay for that or get school loans which you can pay back. Use as little as you can as it is a long time in paying it back. I hope you have a good enough job to be able to get by.

I wish you well whatever you do. I am pretty religious as are my kids, but your parents sound rather radical right wingers. Tht pushes people away. My religion helps get teenagers together as we want them to be freinds in their own group and to date in their group, but we don't encourage dating until 16 and then prefer groups. We try to have many social activities and also activities of service for them. I wish your church had been more like that. You might have enjoyed going to church both on Sunday and on youth night. We have programs for young singles to meet one another and for older singles as well.

Humans are social beings and do need social activities. We also believe in sex after marriage not before. But we sure beieve in friends and also in having fun. So not all churches are like your parents so dont shut your mind on religion.

I wish you well whatever you decide. In effect they are forcing you to move in with your boyfriend because they won't let you have friends who come to your home or come around there. You have to move out to have a social life. it isn't just the BF it is their lack of letting you have a life and friends. That is very wrong. They may mean well, but sure are doing the wrong things which push you away.
 
im 19 and my parents never let me party, go to prom or date a girl
my mom says i can move out
but that means she wins and i lose cause i got no friends
so all and all bad idea
 
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