Help me with this poem please.?

  • Thread starter Thread starter gigipudding
  • Start date Start date
G

gigipudding

Guest
Pain is luminescent
Tears of pass time souls
Shining from hearts
whose owners have died
Glitter from the clouds.
When I don't see it
It means:
The reception desk is too busy with new souls
to remind the pass times
of their sorrow
GCdeC
 
Edited poem :

Pain is luminescent
Tears fall without heat.
With the excellence of still hearts
whose owners have died
Like shinny droplets from the clouds.
It is felt but not seen.
It means:
The reception down under is crowed with new faces
that are reminiscent of past times
and sorrow.
 
i love it!

it's wonderful


comment my poems?

just go to my profile, then my questions, the last 2 questions are my 2 poems =).
 
Thunder and Lighting strike through the doors
Angered visions of those who won't get in
As the line grows to unexplained size
Down below the clouds
The screams of those who again come for more
and Finally comes a knock on the door
 
I like the word choices.

Don't be discouraged by people who tell you your poetry sucks. Poetry is poetry. And as I've said before, it is to be interpreted by whomever is reading it at the time. So, because it means something to you, it's great! Keep writing.

k_b
 
Back
Top