Help! I hate my sister-in-law!?

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moshee

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I have never hated anyone in my life...well with a few exceptions to political leaders, but I HATE my sister-in-law! I met her when me and my husband first got engaged. Let me paint out the scenario....she was at this outdoor bar and my husband just picked me up from the airport. I quickly changed clothes in the car hoping to make a good impression. When we got to the bar she was telling a story to her other brother and his wife. I stood right in front of her and she would not even look at me! I said "hi" and I congragulated her on her baby and she didn't even say a single word to me. The rest of the night, needless to say, was awful. She never asked me anything just ignored me and I felt like I was in the twighlight zone! I come from a family where we welcome everyone and at least get to know someone before passing judgement!

The rest of the week was equally bad and it resulted in me confronting her bad behavior. She went off on me and called me several unladylike names. My fiance just stood there and did nothing! I was upset at him but he promised that he would make it right....2 years later and a deployment to iraq we finally planned the wedding with no apology from the evil sister-in-law.
The wedding was awful! I was so nervous about seeing her but my husband reassured me that she would have a drink with me and all would be water under the bridge. No such luck. At the Jack and jill party she ignored me. I tried to talk to her but she would have nothing to do with me. At the wedding she didn't take any family pictures and never participated in one bit. I mean she didn't even dance, congragulate us...NOTHING!!
So now my husband and I are not talking because he wont talk about it with her. He wishes her a "merry Christmas" and A "Happy Birthday" but he never mentions how horrible she has been to me. I try to talk to him but he just gets upset and leaves the room! Am I wrong to want him to man up??
Side note: Apparently this sister-in-law has done this to all the new wives of her 7 brothers. I am now low man on the todum pole and all the brothers never dealt with her issues.
 
If she did this to the other six, you have allies. Your husband isn't going to do anything, but you need to reach out to the other women who were snubbed and who are annoyed their husbands did nothing. Then when there is a family event you can all sit together and have fun and ignore her.
 
Okay... so your husband and his brothers are all gutless wimps, and this harpy is competing with all other women.
This is your husband's sister, and she obviously carries some status in the family... probably the only sister and spoiled rotten as such. Don't expect your husband to stand up for you. I don't know what the birth order is, but he is obviously so far down on the list that he isn't capable.
Quit being mad at him and quit trying to demand respect from her.
You can connect with the other brothers' wives and develop a support network among them.
You can also insist on keeping this SIL away from all of your events. You issue your invitations carefully as to exclude her. You and your husband either stay away from the big family gatherings, or go and ignore the harpy.
 
Your husband needs to understand that by marrying you, the two of you have formed your own family. He needs to back you up and defend you (and you need to do the same for him) and if his sister is mistreating you, he needs to call her on it every time it happens, so she know the two of you will not put up with it.
 
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