Help! All my 4 yr old does is whine and cry!?

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Brat

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He can't speak w/o whining, he throws tantrums and cries about everything! I'm absolutely miserable!!! We do time outs, he has a chair that he sits on in the kitchen away from every one, but its not doing any good. We've tried talking to him but he will simply talk over you. Spanking doesn't do any good cause he'll just say " That didn'y hurt" . I'm at my wits end. We have another son thats 10yrs old and is nothing like him. HELP!!!!
 
I am in the same situation you are. And it's not from lack of dicipline. I have done the spanking, talks, time out you name it. I have started taking away things he likes such as TV time not just for a day for 5 days. He also likes video games like Super Mario Cart N64. If he talks ugly or is mean to his brother or has one of these fits I will take away TV & Video games for 5 days. His tv & video games are limited so it seems to get him. The first time I took TV away for the afternoon it seemed to help. Email me if you would like to talk. Good Luck. I think this is just the "terrible two's times two = fussy 4 year old.
 
My son is a "whiner" too. He whines alot, I have tried getting him to stop by when he whines I get him to repeat what it is that he wants or is whining about in a regular voice. Maybe you can try to decipher what it is that he whining about, which I know is hard, because sometimes the actually whine about one thing when it is another that is bothering them. Like when my son is late for a nap he will whine about something silly when I know it is because he doesn't usually come out and say "I'm tired mom, I would really like a nap to feel better" so he says "I waaaaaaaant that trainnnnnn to goooo there......" and cries. I know how hard it is. I think we just have to be patient trying to figure out what is the root of the issue and create as stable schedules and environments as we can given our circumstances and try to promote good behavior by positive reinforcement (either verbal or small tinker toys or reward charts( and also by negative consequences ( time outs when after prodding they don't repeat whining words with "big boy" words), and with help by being aware of problems such as tired, hungry, wanting attention and working to let them know we are aware and having them ask for things in big boy voices right after the whining so they notice the difference and learn to say it correctly. I started asking my son " Are you a baby or a bigger boy" and because they are bigger most boys will want to be bigger. So I tell him babies cry to get what they want all the time because they can't talk, can you use your big boy voice to tell mommy something" and then we have to be attentive and help them solve the problem at hand. They like attention and we have to help them receive attention from big boy voices, not the crying over almost everything, it is a see through process. Best of Wishes, I know how it is!
 
Uhm.. you could send him off to his room, and say "come back once you've changed your attitude." Be strict with him, ir he'll never respect you. Give him time to think about his actions, and don't let him come out until he's thought about it. When you do say that, let him cry about it, let him complain about it, he's just trying to make you feel sorry for him. Sorry, that's the best I could come up with.
 
He kind of sounds like my little brother when he was younger. He actually used to say "it didn't hurt" too, and my mother simply asked him, "do you want it to?" and after receiving a harder spanking, he stopped. try giving him consequences when he whines, such as taking something away from him or a different form of discipline. most importantly, don't give into the whining.
 
have you ever watched super nanny?? i have gotten the best advice from her and all of it helps. i have a 3 an 5 yr old and they have done that too. mostly it has to do with you just want them to stop so you give in. first of all i will tell you yelling will not make it any better. it only encourages them because they get a reaction out of you. my best advice find super nanny and watch a few episodes it really is extremely helpful she also has books
 
It's just the age. AND it sounds like he is testing his power. He want attention and control, as we all do, but isn't sure how to get it in a positive way. Teach him. Divide his behavior into three categories: Behavior you want more of, behavior you want less of and behavior that is absolutely unacceptable and MUST stop. Praise the good behavior, no matter how small ("look how many peas you ate, amazing!"), ignore the bad behavior, and discipline the intolerable behavior.
Also.....try spending 30mins a day with him, and him only, doing something together that he and you both enjoy. A sport, craft, game, outing, whatever. Just you and him. Praise and encourage his good behavior. Once he sees how great consistent positive attention is, he will do more things to try and get it.
 
Spank harder.
Now a spanking with their pants and underwear ( or diaper ) down for general punishment is wrong, exposing their privates is wrong, unless they out right defi you, then my boys are going to be striped down and be butt naked for it. No matter what age. Sometimes the embarrassment if other friends or siblings are around would help. But that would only be my child.
 
show that you are the authority, grab him in a way that he cant get out and say "Listen to me, stop yelling" and stop other things that he does. if he tries to be independent and screams when you help him, (i know this will be tough to do) bring him to a store and if he screams and whines that he wants to go home, go out to the parking lot and leave, after about 5 mins to show that he needs you, come back and get him to show that you care about him, but you are the authority. the parking lot thing does work, by the way.
do the other ones that say "be positive to good behavior" with a mix of this if this alone doesnt work.
 
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