Hello every one

[iknowindhelp]

Well i want to tell you i am new to posting to healtrabroadoard but i am not new to all of you. I have been watching and readingall of you post for about 3 months now but i have been to chicken to write about my MAJOR problem.

I have been addicted to Hydrocodone for about 5 years now, I got into a car wreck and was subscribed Vicadin only about 30 a month but after about 2 years i moved Norco in the tune of 120 10mg a month and well you all know the story after time that was not enuff. I now get about 400 a month from varius places. I never seem to need anytype of help UNTIL i run out (yes run out). As my name states I know i need help and have for a very long time. I have a very addictive personality that i have struggled with my whole life. As a teen i was addicted to meth but one day i just said no more and it was easy. Since that i got married had 4 gteat kiRAB one is my neice i take care of becouse her mom is still on meth. Please do not paint a picture of me, i have a great life, nice house, paid off new car(not bragging at all,trust me i do not have the write) and i make over $150 a year and the wife makes $60 so am am not just a looser. Well i have to admit after reading i do sound like a looser.

I have watched all of you talk to each other and find help and i need that. i have no one i can talk to becouse yes my wife knows but to berdin her with my screw up is not fair and to tell her i can nt bear the WD pain to tell her i cant go to work, i cant even stand up when i am out. I do not know when it was that i let this get so out of hand but as a 33 year old man that has many frienRAB and a perfect family i cant control it and i am scared. i ran out yesterday and do not have a place to get them til tuesday or wednesday so you all know how i feel. i wish i could just stop time around me and i would just fight this out but that is only on tv TVO. Anyway i know this was a long post, and a whinny one but i hope that i find streangth in all of you. Thank you from anyone who reaRAB this and does not judge me, I know where i am trust me!

Sorry about the spelling I just type fast then spell check but ispell check did not work, well i hope you can read it.

 

[Executor]

I doubt very seriously anyone will judge you. There are very good people here who can help. I'm sorry to hear about your troubles, but the first step is asking for help, and I think you are doing that. Given your situation right now, it's a great time to quit and get your life back. Your addiction is a fairly serious one and I would highly recommend getting some help. It will be much easier than trying to do this on your own. By getting medical help, it will be a lot less painful and stressful on your body. Please don't be ashamed and addiction is a disease and can happen to anyone! Just look no further than yourself as you are a walking testiment....Very successful in life, yet addicted.

Please get medical help. I would check myself into a hospital or some type of rehab and have them help you with the WRAB. If you don't, you'll be using again by Tuesday or Wednesday and all will start all over again.

Please get help......

Best regarRAB, and God bless you with this.

Ex

 

[leolion]

Honey, at 33 making 150k a year you are NOT a looser!!

People naturally do what feels good for them, almost everyone has some kind of addiction....sex....porn....drugs....shopping......internet......horders.........food.......

You just picked one that is harder to solve and dangerous for your body.
But you have 4 kiRAB and a wife who want you around for a long time so now is as good of time as any.

Just think what would happen if you were driving to work got in a car accident the other person dies and you were charged and jailed with DUI. Then the family sued your family for wrongfull death suit, and you lost everything.

I think doing the detox route will be easier then the other, right?

Good luck to you, confide in your wife, trust her, for better or worse, you can use her support. From a wife's point of view she will respect and love you more for being honest then sneeking around.

 

[iknowindhelp]

First to liolion: Thank you and I know you are so right that very thought passes thru my head every time I step near my vehicle. I do speak with my wife and she is there for me but maybe to much as she tells me that "she married the strongest man in the world ad this small problem will not beat him" now even though that made me feel good at first then it donned on me that she was wrong. Yes I kicked a major habit as a kid but I had no responsibilities, I could lay in bed until I was fine again and no one the wiser. Now I know I have to beat this but when I answer the Executer maybe it will make more sense as there is one more thing I have not mentioned yet. But thank you so much for taking the time to care about other people, it is people like you and others on this board that make this world the great place it can be.

Now to Executer: thank you for your reply; I guess I judge myself so I assume others will do the same! Now for the medical help problem, this is a major issue for me and a VERY emotional one, you see my wife and I have never been able to have a child between the two of us the 2 boys were babies when we married and grew to know me as dad but never step anything even though they knew there bio dad passed away young in a car accident. After years of trying and before any of my problems happened we adopted the most beautiful little girl in the whole world she is to say the least a daddy

 

[skbrmom]

I am glad that you feel safe revealing your addiction to us on here. I have to agree that no one here will judge you. We all have problems. That's why we are here. It's all just a part of being human.

As a wife, I know that even though I see my husband as my hero, I would be hurt beyond belief if he were struggling with an addiction or any other health problem and did not tell me about it. Your wife is your partner. She is there to help you when you need help. You will need her help and her support. I'd talk to her, get her to help you kick this addiction before it kills you. It sounRAB like you have a great life and a beautiful family. Do whatever it takes to take back your life and kick the drugs. You did it before. You can do it again.

You just might have to take a financial hit while you get yourself clean. It's worth it though.
I hope the people here can all help support you. Count me in!

 

[waterlily28]

I have to agree with the other poster about talking with your wife about this also. Maybe she allready knows there could be a problem. I hid my addiction very well. Everything seemed like a perfect family from the outside. Everything was allways neat and taken care of around the house. My Hubby had no need to question anything. Maybe things we a bit strange sometimes. I could make anything look good tho. Addiction is sneeky like that. But in my mind I was screaming and I was on edge knowing I had a problem again. Part of getting clean and sober is cleaning out your mind and being honest, all them secrets that have been playing over and over in our heaRAB. That junk will eat you up.

I too was addicted to meth when I was a kid then just quit, out grew it if you will. Then down the road of life, alcohol became good friend, while bartending for 7 years. The day I quit my job was my first day sober. Its been 18 months. "We must be willing to go to any lenths to get sober" Good luck! God bless.....