A dentist in yorkshire has been given a jail sentence of 5 years for administering drugs to his patients,the judge called this..... E by gum.
A man goes to his doctor and says " you gotta help me doc, i can't pronounce my F's and T's,if you cure me I'll make a large donation to your chosen charity", the doctor says "you can't say fairer than that then"
I went to my Doctors with terrible wind,he examined me and then went and got this long pole with a nasty looking hook on the end,I asked him if it was going to hurt and he said "no,I'm just going to open the top window"
What do you call a man with no shins...........Tony
What do you get if you cross a door knocker with some courgettes,onions,tomatoes and garlic...........rat-a-tat-a touille
3 mates go into a busy pub,the barmaid eventually gets round to asking them what they want to drink,one of the blokes says " a p-p-pi-i-i-n-n-nt-t-t o-o-of-o-of", "look,I haven't got time to mess about"the barmaid says,can't one of you others order what you want to drink", she then finds out that infact all 3 of them stutter so she tells them,"I'll get you 3 pints of lager and you can make do with them",so she serves them 3 pints of lager and carries on serving all the other customers,when the rush dies down she decides to have a bit of fun with the 3 of them and beckons them over,she says to them " if any of you can tell me where your from I'll let you do anything,and I do mean anything,you like to me and I'll do anything to you that you ask me", they all agree to give it a go, the 1st bloke says I'm from n-n-n-new-new-newcas-newcas", "too late" says the barmaid so the 2nd bloke says "I'm from s-s-s-sou-sou-sou-southa-southamp-southampt" too late"says the barmaid so the 3rd bloke says "I'm from London",well the barmaid can't believe it but she keeps her word and takes the 3rd bloke upstairs where she is subjected to the most awful sexual acts imaginable,as they come back down the stairs the 3rd bloke says "derry"
A man goes to his doctor and says " you gotta help me doc, i can't pronounce my F's and T's,if you cure me I'll make a large donation to your chosen charity", the doctor says "you can't say fairer than that then"
I went to my Doctors with terrible wind,he examined me and then went and got this long pole with a nasty looking hook on the end,I asked him if it was going to hurt and he said "no,I'm just going to open the top window"
What do you call a man with no shins...........Tony
What do you get if you cross a door knocker with some courgettes,onions,tomatoes and garlic...........rat-a-tat-a touille
3 mates go into a busy pub,the barmaid eventually gets round to asking them what they want to drink,one of the blokes says " a p-p-pi-i-i-n-n-nt-t-t o-o-of-o-of", "look,I haven't got time to mess about"the barmaid says,can't one of you others order what you want to drink", she then finds out that infact all 3 of them stutter so she tells them,"I'll get you 3 pints of lager and you can make do with them",so she serves them 3 pints of lager and carries on serving all the other customers,when the rush dies down she decides to have a bit of fun with the 3 of them and beckons them over,she says to them " if any of you can tell me where your from I'll let you do anything,and I do mean anything,you like to me and I'll do anything to you that you ask me", they all agree to give it a go, the 1st bloke says I'm from n-n-n-new-new-newcas-newcas", "too late" says the barmaid so the 2nd bloke says "I'm from s-s-s-sou-sou-sou-southa-southamp-southampt" too late"says the barmaid so the 3rd bloke says "I'm from London",well the barmaid can't believe it but she keeps her word and takes the 3rd bloke upstairs where she is subjected to the most awful sexual acts imaginable,as they come back down the stairs the 3rd bloke says "derry"