Well for starters...that's messed up. At least they could be honest about it.
Granted...i struggle with my sexuality, but i'm the same on here as i am offline.
Perhaps the people that do this need to step out and reveal their true selves. If they really loved their family, jobs, etc. they would be honest and let them go.
Them being their spouses...it causes lots of pain that could've been avoided.