have i got some kind of mental illness or am i just really weird?

[pinkheart]

i've been doing stupid things lately and i don't know why. i've been starving myself but well i do eat supper and lunch sometimes but some days i just don't eat a lot and i go to bed hungry but i don't eat anything i just ignore it like right now i've been hungry for the past hour and i haven't done anything about it but i don't know why. sometimes i want to throw things across the room and when i'm awake late at night i feel like going for a walk and i hate going out when its dark and i'm talking about 2 in morning not 10. i'm a self harmer trying to stop, 'm doing really well with that actually three months without cutting! yay! but anyways i still feel like cutting but i've been trying to take my mind of it but it really hard to do! i've also been thinking about alcohol a lot lately sometimes i just want to go to the shops and drink it but i've never eally been interesting in drinking before that just isn't me i have been depressed for the past year and i'm only 19 if that helps, yeah i know how werid a 19 yr that doesn't drink lol