Has anyone else ever accidently found photos of their partner and their partner's ex?

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DictatorOfEngland

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Yesturday I accidently saw it. The ex I have a huge problem with, the other ex he has I don't care about but this one makes me want to spit poison. We're long distance, and he was showing me some photos in a huge unsorted file on his PC (I could see his moniter via a program) and it suddely flashed up. Her, looking all cosey leant against his shoulder. I felt sick.

He didn't know it was there, it was one of those named something like IMG93939302 and in the middle of several other random old photos with similar name. He deleted it straight away too and made sure there wasn't any more of them left because he thought he'd got rid of them all. The problem is I just can't forget this image..

I've had problems with this ex ever since at the begining of my relationship she contacted him out of the blue and tried to get him back. I was the new girlfriend and was convinced she could take him back and I wouldn't stand a chance as they have history. She lives further from him than I do, and he blocked off all contact with her after she did that. He told me she means nothing to him and that I'm the only girl he's ever been in love with. He seemed really worried about me as I was pretty much speechless after seeing the photo. I don't think he would get back with her now but I just can't stand picturing them. This image made me freak out in my head completley, it made me cry and everything.

I'm one of those people who believes the past should be the past, and exes should be kept vague and distant. Photos of me and my ex are long gone because he means nothing to me now.His ex left up blogs with shrines to how in looooove with him she was and how they'd be together forever which just made things worse. I was slowly beginning to move on from all this but the picture has ripped everything open again. Why couldn't she stay in the past like his other ex? I don't feel like this about that girl at all :(

Anyone else ever found such a picture? How did you react? How did you come to terms with it? Right now I can picture him as my boyfriend, I keep thinking about him as hers. I know I am overreacting but I have depression and extremely low self confidence problems so it's all blown up in my head. I just want to hear that it can be back to normal again :( I don't want to keep thinking of her. I don't want my boyfriend to feel punished either, I just can't stop feeling this horrible pain over it. Jealousy is a bitch.
 
aww, i understand ur jealousy, its cos u really love him.just make sure u dont become overbearin cos that can drive a guy right into the arms of ur ENEMY. but yeah I understand, its normal to feel that way. there is a guy who has an ex on this campus, I cant bring myself to date him cos i dont know if he will want her back. U know he asked her out first, chose her first over me. Cos of that i feel threatened. i hate threatening situations cos she is a nice decent girl...lil miss prefect, how do i know that their break-up isnt temporary and i wont get cot in the crossfire?...at least ur man proved that YOU are the one by stoppin all contact with her!
 
Ive had something similar happen but all you have to realise is that he loves you now, that was in the past, he cant change it. All you need to do is think that he WAS with her and he left her meaning that he didnt love her. Whenever that image comes into your head think about you and him together and all the lovely pictures of you both instead. Good luck, in time it will fade I promise.
 
i know what u mean. i found pics of my boyfriend kissing his ex and even now it puts a pain in my chest. What i keep in mind is he too didnt realize he still had them and got rid of them right away. But, hes with me now, and i know he never really cared for this girl. i know im his one and only love and she could NEVER measure up to me in his eyes. I am sure your boyfriend is the same. If he cared for her hed be with her, but hes not. The images will soon fade and from now on the ex will always have one image in her head. YOU in his arms, not her. Hope this helps.
 
"I'm one of those people who believes the past should be the past, and exes should be kept vague and distant."----no you're not, because not only are you dwelling on a photo that he didn't know he had and he deleted but you know that she maintains blogs and shrines to him and their love that would never die.

you're making yourself miserable. Stop cyberstalking her (you must be if you know what she has on her blog) and get her out of your mind. If you're telling the truth then this girl is seriously warped and I'm willing to bet that her obsessive personality is why he's not with her but to hear you describe your situation, it sounds like he's just replaced one obessive whack job (her) with another one (you).

The only things you need to focus on are:

1. HE is with YOU, NOT her. He had the chance to go back to her early in your relationship and he told her "No thanks!"

2. she IS part of his past. He has not kept mementos of her and when the odd photo of her popped up he got rid of it and he double checked to make sure he didn't have more. He's behaving exactly as he should where she is concerned.

3. It's not your or his problem that she is still hung up on him. Don't make it your problem and don't behave in a way that makes him think that he's still w/ a crazy woman. or you'll be his next ex.

seriously, take a few deep breaths and tell yourself she is pathetic and not a threat to your relationship. Get her out of your mind.

and yes, I have stumbled across pix of Fred and his ex and while it kind of gets to me I understand that she is a part of his past and while they didn't work as a couple there are a lot of good memories about their relationship and I don't require him to erase his entire past for my vanity. If he wanted to be with her, then he'd still be with her. (we also don't get rid of them because they belong to Pebbles. I'm not Pebbles' bio mom, I'm the one who is picking up bioMom's slack)

you're issue is a little different, this woman does sound like a nut case and the best thing to do is eradicate all evidence of her from his past but that's his decision to make and it sounds like he's made it. you only need to be concerned w/ what he does. he's the one who owes you loyalty NOT his ex. put his ex in the past where she belongs and stop trying to find out what she's up to. The less you focus on her, the happier and more secure you'll feel. the more secure you feel, the less jealous you'll feel.

edit:
I think a good deal of your problem is that you are in a long distance relationship and he's fed you a BS line that he's "never loved anyone else before". Oh please...if that's true, then he was just using his other exes? eh, maybe. anyway for long distance relationships: maintain daily contact of one sort or another, occasional real life visits and formulate a plan for when the long distance part of your relationship will go away. If you can have an inkling that he sees you as a part of his future even if only to get to know you better through daily contact then you'll start to feel a bit more secure as well.

If you're not being treated for the depression & it's more than you can handle on your own then see someone about that. depression makes you focus on things that are so totally unimportant that you run off on a tangent where someone who wasn't depressed would just shrug their shoulders and move on. it makes you make a big deal out of something that is nothing. and that's what you're doing.

Good Luck.
 
"I'm one of those people who believes the past should be the past, and exes should be kept vague and distant."----no you're not, because not only are you dwelling on a photo that he didn't know he had and he deleted but you know that she maintains blogs and shrines to him and their love that would never die.

you're making yourself miserable. Stop cyberstalking her (you must be if you know what she has on her blog) and get her out of your mind. If you're telling the truth then this girl is seriously warped and I'm willing to bet that her obsessive personality is why he's not with her but to hear you describe your situation, it sounds like he's just replaced one obessive whack job (her) with another one (you).

The only things you need to focus on are:

1. HE is with YOU, NOT her. He had the chance to go back to her early in your relationship and he told her "No thanks!"

2. she IS part of his past. He has not kept mementos of her and when the odd photo of her popped up he got rid of it and he double checked to make sure he didn't have more. He's behaving exactly as he should where she is concerned.

3. It's not your or his problem that she is still hung up on him. Don't make it your problem and don't behave in a way that makes him think that he's still w/ a crazy woman. or you'll be his next ex.

seriously, take a few deep breaths and tell yourself she is pathetic and not a threat to your relationship. Get her out of your mind.

and yes, I have stumbled across pix of Fred and his ex and while it kind of gets to me I understand that she is a part of his past and while they didn't work as a couple there are a lot of good memories about their relationship and I don't require him to erase his entire past for my vanity. If he wanted to be with her, then he'd still be with her. (we also don't get rid of them because they belong to Pebbles. I'm not Pebbles' bio mom, I'm the one who is picking up bioMom's slack)

you're issue is a little different, this woman does sound like a nut case and the best thing to do is eradicate all evidence of her from his past but that's his decision to make and it sounds like he's made it. you only need to be concerned w/ what he does. he's the one who owes you loyalty NOT his ex. put his ex in the past where she belongs and stop trying to find out what she's up to. The less you focus on her, the happier and more secure you'll feel. the more secure you feel, the less jealous you'll feel.

edit:
I think a good deal of your problem is that you are in a long distance relationship and he's fed you a BS line that he's "never loved anyone else before". Oh please...if that's true, then he was just using his other exes? eh, maybe. anyway for long distance relationships: maintain daily contact of one sort or another, occasional real life visits and formulate a plan for when the long distance part of your relationship will go away. If you can have an inkling that he sees you as a part of his future even if only to get to know you better through daily contact then you'll start to feel a bit more secure as well.

If you're not being treated for the depression & it's more than you can handle on your own then see someone about that. depression makes you focus on things that are so totally unimportant that you run off on a tangent where someone who wasn't depressed would just shrug their shoulders and move on. it makes you make a big deal out of something that is nothing. and that's what you're doing.

Good Luck.
 
"I'm one of those people who believes the past should be the past, and exes should be kept vague and distant."----no you're not, because not only are you dwelling on a photo that he didn't know he had and he deleted but you know that she maintains blogs and shrines to him and their love that would never die.

you're making yourself miserable. Stop cyberstalking her (you must be if you know what she has on her blog) and get her out of your mind. If you're telling the truth then this girl is seriously warped and I'm willing to bet that her obsessive personality is why he's not with her but to hear you describe your situation, it sounds like he's just replaced one obessive whack job (her) with another one (you).

The only things you need to focus on are:

1. HE is with YOU, NOT her. He had the chance to go back to her early in your relationship and he told her "No thanks!"

2. she IS part of his past. He has not kept mementos of her and when the odd photo of her popped up he got rid of it and he double checked to make sure he didn't have more. He's behaving exactly as he should where she is concerned.

3. It's not your or his problem that she is still hung up on him. Don't make it your problem and don't behave in a way that makes him think that he's still w/ a crazy woman. or you'll be his next ex.

seriously, take a few deep breaths and tell yourself she is pathetic and not a threat to your relationship. Get her out of your mind.

and yes, I have stumbled across pix of Fred and his ex and while it kind of gets to me I understand that she is a part of his past and while they didn't work as a couple there are a lot of good memories about their relationship and I don't require him to erase his entire past for my vanity. If he wanted to be with her, then he'd still be with her. (we also don't get rid of them because they belong to Pebbles. I'm not Pebbles' bio mom, I'm the one who is picking up bioMom's slack)

you're issue is a little different, this woman does sound like a nut case and the best thing to do is eradicate all evidence of her from his past but that's his decision to make and it sounds like he's made it. you only need to be concerned w/ what he does. he's the one who owes you loyalty NOT his ex. put his ex in the past where she belongs and stop trying to find out what she's up to. The less you focus on her, the happier and more secure you'll feel. the more secure you feel, the less jealous you'll feel.

edit:
I think a good deal of your problem is that you are in a long distance relationship and he's fed you a BS line that he's "never loved anyone else before". Oh please...if that's true, then he was just using his other exes? eh, maybe. anyway for long distance relationships: maintain daily contact of one sort or another, occasional real life visits and formulate a plan for when the long distance part of your relationship will go away. If you can have an inkling that he sees you as a part of his future even if only to get to know you better through daily contact then you'll start to feel a bit more secure as well.

If you're not being treated for the depression & it's more than you can handle on your own then see someone about that. depression makes you focus on things that are so totally unimportant that you run off on a tangent where someone who wasn't depressed would just shrug their shoulders and move on. it makes you make a big deal out of something that is nothing. and that's what you're doing.

Good Luck.
 
i know what u mean. i found pics of my boyfriend kissing his ex and even now it puts a pain in my chest. What i keep in mind is he too didnt realize he still had them and got rid of them right away. But, hes with me now, and i know he never really cared for this girl. i know im his one and only love and she could NEVER measure up to me in his eyes. I am sure your boyfriend is the same. If he cared for her hed be with her, but hes not. The images will soon fade and from now on the ex will always have one image in her head. YOU in his arms, not her. Hope this helps.
 
Ive had something similar happen but all you have to realise is that he loves you now, that was in the past, he cant change it. All you need to do is think that he WAS with her and he left her meaning that he didnt love her. Whenever that image comes into your head think about you and him together and all the lovely pictures of you both instead. Good luck, in time it will fade I promise.
 
"I'm one of those people who believes the past should be the past, and exes should be kept vague and distant."----no you're not, because not only are you dwelling on a photo that he didn't know he had and he deleted but you know that she maintains blogs and shrines to him and their love that would never die.

you're making yourself miserable. Stop cyberstalking her (you must be if you know what she has on her blog) and get her out of your mind. If you're telling the truth then this girl is seriously warped and I'm willing to bet that her obsessive personality is why he's not with her but to hear you describe your situation, it sounds like he's just replaced one obessive whack job (her) with another one (you).

The only things you need to focus on are:

1. HE is with YOU, NOT her. He had the chance to go back to her early in your relationship and he told her "No thanks!"

2. she IS part of his past. He has not kept mementos of her and when the odd photo of her popped up he got rid of it and he double checked to make sure he didn't have more. He's behaving exactly as he should where she is concerned.

3. It's not your or his problem that she is still hung up on him. Don't make it your problem and don't behave in a way that makes him think that he's still w/ a crazy woman. or you'll be his next ex.

seriously, take a few deep breaths and tell yourself she is pathetic and not a threat to your relationship. Get her out of your mind.

and yes, I have stumbled across pix of Fred and his ex and while it kind of gets to me I understand that she is a part of his past and while they didn't work as a couple there are a lot of good memories about their relationship and I don't require him to erase his entire past for my vanity. If he wanted to be with her, then he'd still be with her. (we also don't get rid of them because they belong to Pebbles. I'm not Pebbles' bio mom, I'm the one who is picking up bioMom's slack)

you're issue is a little different, this woman does sound like a nut case and the best thing to do is eradicate all evidence of her from his past but that's his decision to make and it sounds like he's made it. you only need to be concerned w/ what he does. he's the one who owes you loyalty NOT his ex. put his ex in the past where she belongs and stop trying to find out what she's up to. The less you focus on her, the happier and more secure you'll feel. the more secure you feel, the less jealous you'll feel.

edit:
I think a good deal of your problem is that you are in a long distance relationship and he's fed you a BS line that he's "never loved anyone else before". Oh please...if that's true, then he was just using his other exes? eh, maybe. anyway for long distance relationships: maintain daily contact of one sort or another, occasional real life visits and formulate a plan for when the long distance part of your relationship will go away. If you can have an inkling that he sees you as a part of his future even if only to get to know you better through daily contact then you'll start to feel a bit more secure as well.

If you're not being treated for the depression & it's more than you can handle on your own then see someone about that. depression makes you focus on things that are so totally unimportant that you run off on a tangent where someone who wasn't depressed would just shrug their shoulders and move on. it makes you make a big deal out of something that is nothing. and that's what you're doing.

Good Luck.
 
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