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!SweEt_reVengE! &
Guest
Four months ago, I found out my boyfriend of 5 years had accounts with almost 10 different dating sites (two of them sex personal sites). He had porn on a memory stick that he was looking at obsessively, while I was gone, and I found out by looking at the recently changed documents under "searches" on his computer. And he was also talking to another girl he met on Yahoo answers and was telling her all this romantic stuff and promising her the world (I've read the emails).With the personal sites, he only but details about himself on one and he told me that he never even talked to anyone (which I looked into and it checked out). He deleted all his profiles and the email account associated with it, and he has not been deleting his internet history anymore.With the porn, he admitted his curiosity and I stood by watched him delete everything and I haven’t seen any weird file names appear anywhere since then.And with the girl, he told her about me and they haven't talked to each other since.We took a break from each other for a little bit and while he did not want to be contacted (because he was ashamed he said), he still texted me everyday and could only last a week before he begged to see me again.Since then, he has been wonderful to me. He's worked very hard to gain my trust back and he has been a better man than before. Now he's in a rush to move in together and get married (and I’m not too much in a rush anymore), he can't stop talking about it. Before, he wanted nothing more than to have some time for himself and now he can't stand it when I visit friends or text a guy in my class for homework help.BUT WHAT MY QUESTION IS... After all that, I freak out when he goes onto myspace and looks at young girl's profiles and he starts to almost cry because I don't trust him, nothing bothers him more than not having my trust now. He claims that he just messes around and listens to music and looks at pictures. I'm not afraid that the girls are prettier than me, because I know I am very beautiful. So why does it bother me so much when he just looks around? He looks at guy's profile's too, but the girl ones are all I can see.He's worked hard for my trust and I know he wouldn't hurt me again. But how can I hold onto that one resolve? How can I let it go so the small things now don't look so big?Oh, AND he even had to look through my phone and my texts because I have been talking to this guy in my class, but strictly about music and Japanese homework! And he even got mad because I deleted all my sent texts, but I did that because I wanted to clear out memory to recieve more texts. I have given him to reason to not trust me and after all that, why would I want to put anyone what I had to go through anyways?I also have free rein of his phone and his computer and I can check anything out if I want and he keep all the history there now...if that helps.