Look, at the end of the day, if you're looking for a universe with concrete rules that make total sense-- or indeed, ANY sense-- this is the wrong show for you. I'd hurably submit that you're taking the whole thing too seriously.
Not that there's necessarily anything wrong with wanting a show that DOES hold up to being taken seriously, but again, if that's what you're after, GL ain't it. If you stick with it long enough, it does have redeeming qualities that make it a bit deeper than the sort of "manly fighting spirit > all!" thing you might expect out of the first episode, but if you seriously hate the show THAT much after one episode, you're unlikely to want to stick around long enough to appreciate those qualities, and that's fine. It's not the show for you. Great. We've established that. Move on.
I mean, I could head into a Spongebob Squarepants talkback and complain that it doesn't hold up when viewed as a character-driven drama, and I wouldn't be wrong, but I'd kind of be missing the point, wouldn't I? Spongebob clearly has elements that cause a great many people, even outside of its main demographic, to get a great deal of enjoyment out of it. I confess to be entirely blind to what exactly those elements are, but I'm willing to take it on faith that they're there and leave it at that.