I'm writing a book called Shadows fall, about an 18 yo girl named Jamie Rosa-lee who's had random and dangerous powers since a young age (eg. shooting balls of flame from hands, levitation, reading emotions, and telekinesis and some others she hasn't discovered yet.). The main villian is the darkness, an evil entity bent on ruling the world and enslaving the population.
She has no friends, apart from a boy the same age named B.J, and her parents are both scared of her, her mum wants nothing to do with her but her dad is nice enough.
The story is set in New Zealand, and in nz you finish school at the age of 17 so they've just finished college (high school).
On the morning of her eighteenth birthday the Strikers come (an army of trained militia that combat the darkness) and demand she train with them to save the world, or be shot in her own home a week later. The general made the threat (he's the boss). Of course she says yes, she'll go, and B.J tags along cos he secretly loves her.
As soon as she reaches the base, a sergeant threatens her that she will die if she fails her mission. she begins training,and a week later, she goes on her first mission, the day before she finds out B.J loves her, and meets some new friends, Mel and Lana, two soldiers and Chris (a freak like her who has the power of mind control) and Don, a 21 yo teacher who falls inluv with her and then Lana, and Chris falls for Mel.
But, of course, she fails and gets shot. But she doesnt die. yet. she is nursed back to health and sent on another mission weeks later. But the darkness captures her and holds her hostage, and she discovers, the darkness, "dagen" might not be the bad guy after all. He is just a normal 18 yo guy who saved his twin brother (the general) from certain death and wound up being the darkness, and every day it takes control of him more and more.he also has powers because he let the shadows take control of him, immortality, levitation, and complete control over the damned spirits of the dead and shadows.
She is recaptured by the strikers after a discovery that Dagen probably loves her, and she jumps off a helicopter to rescue B.J, but finds its only the general in a wig who tells her the truth about everything, that he is the evil one and he needed to be stopped.
They take her back to the base to prepare her for raising the darkness out of the pit it's trapped in, but she devises a plan with her friends that results in her death and the darkness being traped at the bottom of the pit forever.
She almost doesnt go through with it until she remebers her parents, B.J, and everyone she'd ever loved and decided she had to do it for them, then she jumped into the 1000km deep pit and pulled all the walls of it down with her, so the darkness will be trapped forever.
After death, she wanders around as a ghost waiting for those who loved her to move on, and tell her story, and once that's done with, she fades into oblivion.
Im thinkin at the back of the story I'll put a small excert:
1. “There was a battle. Fifty heroes vs. fifty monsters formed from shadow living on that mountain. Out of the fifty heroes, there was one that stood above the rest. His name; well, his name doesn’t matter anymore, the only thing that matters is what he became.”
That was the general lying
2. Awake.
Blinding light, and concerned voices, muffled as if speaking through a thick veil.
Blood.
Everywhere.
I dimly wonder if it’s mine.
Piercing pain in my shoulder.
Darkness
^^ after Jamie got shot
3. Day after day I watch the humans scurry around in their meaningless little lives, completely unaware of me, wasting away in this cesspit. How I long to wipe the smug expressions off their faces. Even now they fight their petty wars above my head, innocently thinking the biggest thing at stake is their world. How wrong they are.
thats in the darkness' page/chapter ^^
which one's best?
Or if you can think of a better blurb you can write can u plz post it on here?
on the front cover I'll put
"What would you do if you were the only one that could save mankind?" and "My name is jamie Rosa-Lee, and this is the story of how I lived, and how I died."
Does the story sound any good?
All feedback appreciated
NO TROLLS 
thanks guys
She has no friends, apart from a boy the same age named B.J, and her parents are both scared of her, her mum wants nothing to do with her but her dad is nice enough.
The story is set in New Zealand, and in nz you finish school at the age of 17 so they've just finished college (high school).
On the morning of her eighteenth birthday the Strikers come (an army of trained militia that combat the darkness) and demand she train with them to save the world, or be shot in her own home a week later. The general made the threat (he's the boss). Of course she says yes, she'll go, and B.J tags along cos he secretly loves her.
As soon as she reaches the base, a sergeant threatens her that she will die if she fails her mission. she begins training,and a week later, she goes on her first mission, the day before she finds out B.J loves her, and meets some new friends, Mel and Lana, two soldiers and Chris (a freak like her who has the power of mind control) and Don, a 21 yo teacher who falls inluv with her and then Lana, and Chris falls for Mel.
But, of course, she fails and gets shot. But she doesnt die. yet. she is nursed back to health and sent on another mission weeks later. But the darkness captures her and holds her hostage, and she discovers, the darkness, "dagen" might not be the bad guy after all. He is just a normal 18 yo guy who saved his twin brother (the general) from certain death and wound up being the darkness, and every day it takes control of him more and more.he also has powers because he let the shadows take control of him, immortality, levitation, and complete control over the damned spirits of the dead and shadows.
She is recaptured by the strikers after a discovery that Dagen probably loves her, and she jumps off a helicopter to rescue B.J, but finds its only the general in a wig who tells her the truth about everything, that he is the evil one and he needed to be stopped.
They take her back to the base to prepare her for raising the darkness out of the pit it's trapped in, but she devises a plan with her friends that results in her death and the darkness being traped at the bottom of the pit forever.
She almost doesnt go through with it until she remebers her parents, B.J, and everyone she'd ever loved and decided she had to do it for them, then she jumped into the 1000km deep pit and pulled all the walls of it down with her, so the darkness will be trapped forever.
After death, she wanders around as a ghost waiting for those who loved her to move on, and tell her story, and once that's done with, she fades into oblivion.
Im thinkin at the back of the story I'll put a small excert:
1. “There was a battle. Fifty heroes vs. fifty monsters formed from shadow living on that mountain. Out of the fifty heroes, there was one that stood above the rest. His name; well, his name doesn’t matter anymore, the only thing that matters is what he became.”
That was the general lying
2. Awake.
Blinding light, and concerned voices, muffled as if speaking through a thick veil.
Blood.
Everywhere.
I dimly wonder if it’s mine.
Piercing pain in my shoulder.
Darkness
^^ after Jamie got shot
3. Day after day I watch the humans scurry around in their meaningless little lives, completely unaware of me, wasting away in this cesspit. How I long to wipe the smug expressions off their faces. Even now they fight their petty wars above my head, innocently thinking the biggest thing at stake is their world. How wrong they are.
thats in the darkness' page/chapter ^^
which one's best?
Or if you can think of a better blurb you can write can u plz post it on here?
on the front cover I'll put
"What would you do if you were the only one that could save mankind?" and "My name is jamie Rosa-Lee, and this is the story of how I lived, and how I died."
Does the story sound any good?
All feedback appreciated
NO TROLLS thanks guys