Gonna throw fuel on the porn in marriage debate ....?

  • Thread starter Thread starter aa889d
  • Start date Start date
A

aa889d

Guest
Ok, so if (and a BIG if) I agree with some posters who say that porn desensitizes men and makes them EXPECT women to ACT like porn stars in the bedroom....

Does this mean that OB/Gyn's can only get turned on and "love" someone when there are stirups and a speculum involved?

I mean - by that logic - its the way they "view" the female anatomy most of the time, so I guess they can only get excitied by a gal in a paper gown, etc....

Maybe that's why he always asks you to "skooch down just a little bit further...." when the lovemaking begins :)

Its funny how people get so fired up when people's privates are involved !!

As for objectifying a woman - yeah so what !! There are PLENTY of wives out there that over time view their husbands as an object.... usually as a wallet with a paycheck in it.... so men have not cornered the market in the "objectify the spouse" department.

If its not for you - fine - just don't poo-poo those that find it an acceptable marriage enhancement.
I know the comparison is rediculous - thats WHY I made it.... and yes an exam is a non-sexual viewing of the "parts".

Sean C said it best ....

I just don't buy-in to the whole "Desensitising" part. This implies that men cannot tell the difference between fantasy and reality. If this is true, then every man that views porn would turn into a uncontrolled sex offender, yet the majority do not.

Why some do has much more to do with the individuals pscyhie, not the content.

Gezzz - never thought I'd get personal attacked via e-mail for just stating an opinion - guess PORN is sooooo bad it takes precedence over free speach and the right to holding an opposing view....

Then again - I did get more stars on this than any other question I've ever posted before - HMmmmmmm....
 
I'm gonna take a wild guess and say that you are an overweight nerd who has nothing better to do than sit behind his computer all day and play with himself.
 
That makes no sense. While porn is a sexual indulgeance, an OB/Gyn is a doctor who likely gets no sexual gratification out of his or her job.

I also dont think I agree with porn making men expect women to act in a specific way. I feel that's a gross over simplification.

To counter your point about some wives viewing their husbands as nothing more than a paycheck, I agree. But I also believe that there are plenty of men who view their wives as sex tools. Objectifying people is not exclusive to gender or more prominent in one gender than another.

Ultimately, porn being in a marriage is entirely up to the given marriage. None of us are in a position to pass judgement on the way that anyone else lives their lives or marriages.

My concern with porn is this: its a product produced by an intdustry that is notorious for preying upon downtrodden and desperate people and for using intimidation and manipulation to get its' "stars" to perform. I personally cannot derive sexual gratification from something that has caused so much harm.
 
HAHHA...Good point on the ob/gyn. All I'd say about it is that if it's deemed okay to both parties in the marriage, then so be it. Whatever it is. As long as no one is hurting anyone. Each couple has their own idea of what is acceptable or bothersome. It's up to them to determine what works for them.
 
This OBGYN is such an insult to women who have to go through this to maintain her health -- even while being pregnant carrying a child. Further more - this is a prime example of how little a man shows respect for a woman.

Your statement :

"Does this mean that OB/Gyn's can only get turned on and "love" someone when there are stirups and a speculum involved? " .... ( ON THE OTHER HAND - COULD THIS ALSO MEAN THAT THIS WOULD APPLY TO MEN WHO HAVE THEIR OWN SPECIAL TYPE OF EXAMINATION WHICH WOULD EQUAL TO THE WOMAN'S EXAM - AND THE MAN HAS IT GOING ON IN A MEDICAL FACILITY WHILE GETTING A PHYSICAL)???

I mean - by that logic - its the way they "view" the female anatomy most of the time, so I guess they can only get excitied by a gal in a paper gown, etc.... (THIS IS LOGIC ?? )

Maybe that's why he always asks you to "skooch down just a little bit further...." when the lovemaking begins :) .... ( AGAIN >> THERE ARE ALSO MEDICAL EXAMS WHICH APPLIES TO MEN IN THE EXAMINATION ROOM -- You have probably been there, done that ... WOULD YOU APPLY THIS TO YOUR "skooch down" antic ? ... YOUR LOGIC ?? )

In this day & age .. lots & lots of women work .. and less & less the woman do NOT have to depend on a man for his paycheck. However - it has been passed down through the ages that the man was the main bread-winner of the family .. but now - the wife has to be -- or be a huge contributor to being the bread-winner. Never-the -less , this is no reason, nor any justification - for the men to have the moral excuse for degrading women .. nor the body of a woman.

There ARE plenty of men out there who support their wives & family ... and .. who come home and love their wives .. and .. NEVER have to look at porn. AND .. there are women who can financially support themselves without the help of any man or their husband -- yet they come home and they love their husband's and try to be their everything. And if works for both of them.

It is always evident, and it shows enormously - the men who have little-to-no honor for a woman's body. This does not lie with a fault of the woman .. but something within the person who portrays it - they have a problem.
 
i knew there was a reason why i liked you Sean C. you hit it exactly!

some of these women need to seriously lighten up on this!

they make nothing into something
 
i just think that women that expect their men not to use porn to help them masturbate are ridiculous.


asking a man not to look at porn is like asking a woman not to use her vibrator.
 
Porn unfortunately DOES desensitize men - especially now with the younger generations being brought up with it so readily available.

Boys are being exposed to readily available porn long before most of them even see a real naked girl. By the time they hit the sheets, they've got unrealistic expectations of what women are like in bed, and how they should act. If all they have seen is porn for 5 years before they have sex - it only makes sense that thats what they expect by the time they do the deed, which is unfortunate.

However, that said. I think as most men age, they realise the difference - and some never get over the idea that woman should be like porn stars. Others, realise porn is just fantasy and for the most part wouldn't want their signifigant others to be a porn star EVERY time they have sex.

You can argue porn doesn't desensitize men - but that arguement has no leg to stand on.

Saying that is like saying society as whole isn't desensitized to violence and gore through movies/videogames/news sources - whether you want to believe it or not - we all are.

That said - I am all for porn in my relationship because my man knows that the real thing is far better than a picture or a video - and he prefers it. We're open and honest about it and I'd be lying if I said I didn't like it, too.

However porn becomes a problem when a man is never satisfied with any woman because she isn't like a porn star, and it becomes a substitue for their sex life. Or when it becomes something to hide out of guilt.

I wouldn't stand for that in my relationship - but we don't have that problem.

ADD: I also would like to mention its completely understandable why men like to see woman as objects sexually sometimes. Who holds all of the power in 95% of relationships when it comes to sex?? Women. Women have a ton of control over men with that little spot between their legs - and it doesn't suprise me that it turns men on to occasionally feel like THEY have the power and they're in control. Nameless woman on a screen, whos sole purpose is to do that - is the best way to achieve that power trip sometimes.

Of course men don't want to degrade and objectify their own wifes just to go on a power trip - porn is there right when they want it, whatever they want to see, they can find. It's not going to complain, it's not going to have 10 requests for him to comply with before it'll consider giving him what he wants - its there, when and how he wants it.

Doesn't suprise or confuse me, at all.
 
Back
Top