Hey asshole, unlike you I didn't shitpost here or at any other public place. I never meant to go forward with any of that information. I posted that to pastebin.ca (the canadian version of pastebin) the same day i got demoted from my tracker. What happened to me was more serious than just being banned from a tracker. Trying staffing and starting a few places, and after you lose them all in a day or two tell me how you feel.
Too bad things went out of control. I didnt share that information with anyone, and if it wasnt for google spidering random f*cking pastebins and some staff digging around for information NOBODY would have ever seen it. I was extremely upset and i was venting, but that paste was 10X more damaging to me than anyone else. For me it meant mass suicide for most of my accounts. Maybe thats why it never showed up in any forums. But thanks alot you worthless troll, while i have tried to let it die you just brought it out in the open. I'm sure that will be appreciated by the people mentioned in it. AND YES, I had stayed silent. Try to find a post from me here or anywhere since I got banned several months ago.
That's where you differ from me. I'm not saying that you're wrong but maybe you and your e-friends set your relationships up on a whole different point of view as I did. Maybe with you guys it was based on personal interest solely
I still have internet friends to this day that i'm close with and have helped me out tromendously into becoming a better person (and I'm not talking BT related wise)
I've spent more hours chatting with Cabalo in Msn about life and he has given me more advice Life-related than I could remember
Chatting with Cinephilia has been an unforgettful experience as well. This guy has introduced me to a new way of thinking. He's a very wise guy and knows a lot about culture, cinematography, music etc..
Still to this day when I'm in the internet I look around the Kg forums to find a meaningful movie, or grab a book and read about old culture and philosphy etc..
I was never into doing stuff like this before I met any of these guys
Another guy that I still know to this day is a Tze. He's from Singapore and a very cool and open minded person. He has left very strong impressions on me and is truly a role model
And last but not least my new friend megabyteme.. I just got to know this guy and he's already reached out to me a million times offering help. It even got to the point where I asked him help for personal problems..and I just met him thats the funny part
My point is that, having friends is a very good thing in both, RL and internet. You can learn a lot from these BT guys..
And Don't give up on something that you used to believe in just because you were hurt a few times.. I know you had good times with your friends before this whole thing happened and probably miss talking to most of them
Yeah there were a lot of good times to go along with the bad. The weirdest experience was making friends with some of the people who were my sworn enemies before. I hated them once for unfairly banning me the first time around (back then it was for banning z7x from TR).
But time heals wounds and i was willing to let bygones be bygones. They were even willing to accept me again when they didnt know who i used to be. Most people assume you use multiple usernames so you can trade with another one, when sometimes its just because you want a fresh start. A tainted name can follow you forever.
I dont consider every friend i've made online to be a fake. Believe it or not, some people still talk to me and were willing to hear me out. I certainly call them friends, unconditional acceptance is hard to find. A lot of my former friends have plenty of right to hate me, I involved them when they had nothing to do with what happened to me. My anger was directed at all the wrong places and before i had a chance to step back & calm down it was too late.
I have apologised and explained myself to a few of the people i hurt. Unfortunately I'm too much of a coward to reach out to anyone else. They probably wouldn't want to hear it anyways. I guess friendship online can be like real life, it can get complicated and go sour real quick.
Albo - I feel lucky I've experienced some of the close bonds you were talking about. The best friendships I made through through almost three years of staffing and even being a normal member helped me through bouts of depression, struggles with addiction, long periods of unemployment, you name it.