Giving Up

F

FloydManiac

New member
So I have made many post here and all had to do with love and the questions on relationships and other things in my life.......Well I got broken for the last time today I GIVE UP!!!!


I am not going to post any other threads here in this section and I am not going to post threads in insignificant other because all of you are to kind to have to listen to all that crap about me. I have learned to deal with that crap by myself. (Do not get me wrong many of you have given me great advice and I do appreciate it very much.) Because I am the only one that can get through it all...


But I decided today that I am done and that I GIVE UP...I am through trying to understand people and trying to figure them out .......


The truth is that LIFE SUCKS and then we DIE!!!!

So all you fine people have a wonderful day and the next post will be in any other threads but these I have mentioned.........
 
I understand where you are coming from... but I am just tired of trying to figure out weather I should or should not talk to someone or weather I should just deal with all my crap alone.....:happysad:
 
People are easy to understand. They are motivated by insecurity and greed. I know that sounds TERRIBLY depressing but really, it's not. A great quote "Be nice to everyone, because everyone you meet is fighting a battle." It's true.

The person who has their shit together and has a great life is fighting a battle. Maybe it's cancer. Maybe he's still trying to get the approval of his father. Perhaps he's closet gay. No matter what his battle is, he is acting to preserve himself and hide his battle.... just like we all are.

So, if you figure everyone has insecurities and is ultimately motivated by their OWN best interests you can generally understand and even predict their behaviors and actions. We try to cover up what we think are our flaws, we try to highlight what we think are the good things and we always move towards that which makes us happy or is best for us.

That's not to say we're entirely selfish, but face it, you are more likely to help a friend or family member than a stranger right? Yes, we do sometimes do altruistic things, but that's generally done out of a either a feeling of guilt for being better off than the people you see OR it's done as a way to lift your own spirits.

I know it sounds harsh, crass and even seriously messed up, but if you just accept that the deep seated root for everything people do is either based on insecurities or greed, even yourself, then you start to understand what motivates us.

The difference between human motivations and animal motivations? Animals don't get insecure. The same greed that drives my German Shepherd who was starved in her puppy years to eat her food in under 30 seconds and then try and steal the food of my other dog is the greed that motivates people. It's a survival greed, not a self centered selfish greed. It only becomes selfish and self centered when you mix the insecurities into it.



Life doesn't have to suck. You just have to adjust your perspective about it and try and enjoy the strange shit that happens.

As far as dieing goes... I haven't tried it yet. I'm still trying to decide if it's against my religion or not.
 
That's why I write a livejournal, that just a few people are aware of(because they've asked for the url). There I get it all out and if it's of an serious manner they can aske me in real life/msn/pm/leave a comment. That way you are not setting the crap on someone else, just like..a public diary for those you trust to read it :hug2:
 
I know you all are right but I just feel so damn lonely and I really do not have close friends here were I am that can help and sometimes they just do not understand and when I try and call those friends that I hold dear and think might would understand and have great advice for me and can play a big part in uplifting me and they do not want to talk it brings me down even more.

So that is why I say I give up I understand that people can be the way they are to protect themselves and that their or my insecurities and greed as sad as it is does play a big roll in that. *sighs and shakes head*
 
;911031']Personally, I think of things this way:

All people besides me are untrustworthy scum unfitting of drawing breath.

Now, bullshit aside:

Giving up... just because the battle doesn't get won doesn't mean we should surrender. Either attack with a new strategy or go fight a new war.
 
That is true... but that is what I am so confused on....

I understand what I have to do now and I can help myself but my biggest thing right now is not understanding what one person says but their actions say a totally different thing that is the main reason I just GIVE UP
 
What do you mean ......To decide to give up on a friendship not because of their actions and words that do not get spoken that is what I am so confused on because there are no words being spoken I am just going on actions of that person....
 
Remember a while back when you said you knew how much you were worth and all was golden and I told you it wasn't that easy? This is what I was talking about. You took stock and figured it out. Now you have to figure out how to believe it.

Stop. Ask yourself what your problems ARE. Look at them OBJECTIVELY. Is it REALLY a problem? If so, is it one you can deal with on your OWN. I mean shit, make a spread sheet if you need too.

Some things that we think are problems really aren't. You just have to learn to realize which they are and let them go. If there isn't anything you can do about it, why worry? e.g. My back yard looks like shit because of a bill bug problem. I have a party this weekend where people will be in the back yard. Now, the yard is healing but it still looks bad. What oh dear me can I do to fix this? NOT A DAMN THING. Am I going to spend time worrying about it? No. Because I can't fix it, my friends won't care, and if they do I don't. Not a problem.

So, you sort out the non-problems and the I-can-do-fuckall-about-it problems. What's left are the real issues in your life. Pick one. Can YOU work on it and fix it alone? NO? Pick another one. Find one you think you CAN tackle alone. Work on it. Fix it. Do it again. After the second one, pick one you need help with. Get the help.

You can't fix every problem at once. You have to fix them one at a time. I have two credit cards that need paid off. Those are TWO problems. I can't fix them both. But I CAN pay off one of them. So I fix THAT problem while I do maintenance on the other. Whap, ONE problem fixed, one to go!

I need a new roof and a new back door for the house. I can't afford to do the roof right now and I can't afford to have a door installed professionally and I can't do it alone. So I'll ask a friend to help me out. I'll buy the door haul it home, and he and I will tear the old one out, frame the new one in and install it. Whap, ONE problem fixed, ONE to go! You just have to be willing to help your friends when they call you.

The point is, when you take stock of your life, and you see an overwhelming number of issues, you need to just pick one and fix it. You can't fix them all at once. So you sort them into the problems you can fix, the problems you can't fix and the problems that aren't really problems. THEN you do maintenance on the real problems and work on fixing them ONE at a time.

If you keep noticing MORE problems on the pile, well, THAT is a problem. FIX it. Figure out where the new issues come from and FIX it. If your man is causing you all sorts of issues, DUMP HIS ASS and FIX THE PROBLEM.

Once you quit finding NEW problems and you start working on the existing problems you'll find that as you fix one problem, another just magically goes away. You're happier, your friends are more willing to help and you suddenly "got your shit together."

Just remember, you do maintenance on the issues you're not currently working on and you pay back the people that help you by helping THEM when they need it. Don't keep a tally sheet, just be there when they ask. If they aren't there when you ask, dump them because THEY are a problem.

It takes a lot of work and practice but if you tackle your shit in a logical way instead of being overwhelmed by trying all at once you'll find out that it's not so tough.
 
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