...this? read below for more? So I my girlfriend hid the fact her friends were coming to visit around Christmas, mainly because one of these friends were her ex. We had an argument over this - she says she thought I would be angry but I am only angry because she hid it. Needless to say this lead to smaller arguments because I am wondering every bad thought possible. Well fast forward they had a heartfelt conversation while they were here because they haven't seen each other in person for awhile, which I understand.
They have been keeping in contact since their break up but she hid the fact she talks to him when I asked, which I would be perfectly fine with if she actually was truthful about talking to him.
Afterward I found out that he professed his love for her again, ect. She then starts saying she's uncomfortable with me being in the room when she talks to him. (She doesn't talk to her friends at home either and gets defensive when I ask why she doesn't, says that she doesn't want to feel like she has to.) Meanwhile I saw him say "is it safe" to her because he doesn't want me to look at all, because they discuss things personal to him which I get; but I have seen him say things like "i miss you" "love you", ect. She hasn't said any of this back yet also says it makes her uncomfortable for him to say this, but she continued/s to talk to him. So I told her "you have to make a choice, it's not fair to me for this to continue how it is". Well she just started hiding that she speaks to him at all - even if she does, deleting text messages, talking to him at work on IM. She finally broke down and told me she just thinks I shouldn't ask if she talks to him at all because it's none of my business who she talks to or when, but I don't want to know when.
I just think at this point I deserve to know if she talks to him considering what has happened and his actions. She said she thinks I should respect her privacy and that she won't tell me the truth because she feels she doesn't have to tell me. I've been with her around a year now and everything has been rocky to say the least but it's been getting better, she says that she just wants to end things with him in her way, but says she feels like i am controlling because I want to know who she is talking to. She views this as her being "independent" and I should be completely fine with it because it's "none of my business who she talks to" "I just wish you would stop asking" "i'll tell you if i am comfortable telling you". I have told her that if I felt like she was being truthful I wouldn't feel the need to ask, now I feel like I am the bad guy for asking and maybe I am controlling but my rationality says I have the right to know given everything that has happened. Am I wrong? Am I being controlling and should give her space?
They have been keeping in contact since their break up but she hid the fact she talks to him when I asked, which I would be perfectly fine with if she actually was truthful about talking to him.
Afterward I found out that he professed his love for her again, ect. She then starts saying she's uncomfortable with me being in the room when she talks to him. (She doesn't talk to her friends at home either and gets defensive when I ask why she doesn't, says that she doesn't want to feel like she has to.) Meanwhile I saw him say "is it safe" to her because he doesn't want me to look at all, because they discuss things personal to him which I get; but I have seen him say things like "i miss you" "love you", ect. She hasn't said any of this back yet also says it makes her uncomfortable for him to say this, but she continued/s to talk to him. So I told her "you have to make a choice, it's not fair to me for this to continue how it is". Well she just started hiding that she speaks to him at all - even if she does, deleting text messages, talking to him at work on IM. She finally broke down and told me she just thinks I shouldn't ask if she talks to him at all because it's none of my business who she talks to or when, but I don't want to know when.
I just think at this point I deserve to know if she talks to him considering what has happened and his actions. She said she thinks I should respect her privacy and that she won't tell me the truth because she feels she doesn't have to tell me. I've been with her around a year now and everything has been rocky to say the least but it's been getting better, she says that she just wants to end things with him in her way, but says she feels like i am controlling because I want to know who she is talking to. She views this as her being "independent" and I should be completely fine with it because it's "none of my business who she talks to" "I just wish you would stop asking" "i'll tell you if i am comfortable telling you". I have told her that if I felt like she was being truthful I wouldn't feel the need to ask, now I feel like I am the bad guy for asking and maybe I am controlling but my rationality says I have the right to know given everything that has happened. Am I wrong? Am I being controlling and should give her space?