Future mother-in-law says I have ruined her relationship with her son-am I wrong to...

H

hey ya

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...not want to deal with her? My FMIL accused me of this in a nasty email. Now keep in mind, this is the same racist hag (I am black and she is white) who protested that FH and I will play rnb and clean, old school rap at our wedding reception, who is concerned that there will be too many "black" traditions at the wedding and who refused to come to my wedding shower because she was afraid it would be "too black". She says before me, her son was a normal man and now I have turned him into someone she and her family don't recognize and she says I have had nothing but a negative impact on her family and she is worried that it will get worse. This woman needs to be cut out my life pronto. I showed the email to FH and he is going to finally have it out with her. Before he stressed to her that I came first, but now he is going to tell her either she shape up or she is out of his life for good.
 
Kill her with kindness! My fiance's mother is Polish and his dad is English. I am mixed (black and mostly white, but mostly black. lol if that makes sense) Anyway in the beginning she didn't care because she didn't know how serious he was about me. Then when we moved in together she started about how he may lose his hertitage if he marries me and all this stuff about black men not taking are of their children even though my father (black) was married to my mother since 18. He died when he was 54 and they were happy.
She wrote him a letter about how blacks still do slavery in Africa and blah blah blah. He didn't let it bother him.

I don't want to say don't let it bother you but how old is she? There are just some old people out there (his parents) who are just set in their ways. While his parents have calmed down with everything and now are asking about grandchildren every chance they get, I can still tell they wanted him to marry a nice white girl. I'm sure my dad would have been the same way at first. He would have wanted me to find a black man.
You can't help who you fall in love with.
Do not battle with her. Next time she says something may be "too black" Ask her polietly what she means. Tell her you weren't aware you could act a color. You weren't aware a party could be "too black" Put her on the spot, but don't be a smart ass about it.
People like that suddenly realize they are being silly. She is stereotyping. It's sad and unfair, but sadly there are a lot of stupid black people out there just giving all of us a bad name.
*hugs* Congrats and I hope you have a beautiful marriage!
 
NA i don't blame you she is ignorant your FH is gonna deal with it and he will. However someday she will come around and, he will always want a relationship with her she is his mother. You have to keep that in mind while dealing with her, sometimes we have to be the bigger person it goes to the sticks and stones saying. Sure what she is saying is sounds racist but if you and him are gonna be together forever she will be a part of your life. So unfortunately y'all have to compromise on somethings, your black heritage shouldn't have to be one of them. As far as your wedding its yours not hers have it the way you want it.
 
sadly, this stuff happens alot. she is just going to have to deal wit the fact that you and her son are in love. you dont even have to give her the time of day. as for your husband, that is his mother. just tell him you didnt appreciate the way she spoke to you and tell him that you dont want her in YOUR life. if he wants her in his life, tell him you may have to see her without him. if he gets mad at you for that, hes being very selfish. it sounds like she is a very rude woman.
 
sadly, this stuff happens alot. she is just going to have to deal wit the fact that you and her son are in love. you dont even have to give her the time of day. as for your husband, that is his mother. just tell him you didnt appreciate the way she spoke to you and tell him that you dont want her in YOUR life. if he wants her in his life, tell him you may have to see her without him. if he gets mad at you for that, hes being very selfish. it sounds like she is a very rude woman.
 
Well unless FH kicks her out of his life then you need to find a way to deal with her because she will be in his life otherwise. This is a hard situation because the things she is saying are just awful!

If your FH does not deal with her now then he is not going to do it when you are married. So I think the question is...Is your love strong enough to survive her hateful comments? Can you deal with her for the rest of your life if he doesn't stand up to her?

I really hope you the best of luck! You do not deserve this.
 
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