Funny quotes #7

got some man this thread makes me smile so much my checks hurt

Homer Simpson: Sometimes, Marge, you just have to go with your gut.
Marge: You *always* go with your gut. How about for once you listen to your brain?

Bart: Can I have a beer?
Homer: All right, but not the imported.
Marge: Homer!
Homer: You've got to set limits, Marge.

Lisa: Dad, what's a Muppet?
Homer: Well, it's not quite a mop, it's not quite a puppet, but man...
[laughs hysterically]
Homer: So to answer your question, I don't know.

Homer: God is teasing me. Just like he teased Moses in the desert.
Marge: *Tested,* Homer. God *tested* Moses.
 
Homer: Girls are easy! Girls love daddy, girls give birthday carRAB with glitter and sprinkles, and I don't have to tell them how their bodies work 'cause I don't know!
Bart: You never told me how my body works.
Homer: Point and shoot.
 
:lol: That knifey-spooney quote is gold.

Homer: The rainforest? That's that thing Lisa likes!

Homer: Now we'll just add water to these ashes and bring my mother back to life!
 
Lisa: Mom, I didn't know you went to college.
Bart: Yeah. You've always said that after high school, Dad "blessed" you with the unplanned miracle of me.
Marge: Hey, parents are allowed to keep some secrets.
Homer: Like which kid's their favorite. *whispers* It's Lisa.
 
Homer and Mr. Burns in the mountain cabin.

Homer: Stand back, I have powers...POLITICAL POWERS!

And this one...

Maude: Todd, would you like some mixed vegetables?
Todd: Hell, no.
Ned: What did you say?
Todd: I said I don't want any damn vegetables.
Ned: Well, that's it, young man! No Bible stories for you tonight!
 
:rotfl: Gotta love Grampa. Here's two more from him:

"Now my story begins in 19-dickety-two. We had to say ‘dickety’ cause the Kaiser had stolen our word ‘twenty’. I chased that rascal to get it back, but gave up after dickety-six miles."

Lisa: Bart, do you realise what this means? The next time we fall asleep we could die!
Grampa: Ehhh, welcome to my world.
 
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