Funniest one liners

M

Marcelo

New member
Just watched Talladega nights on sky and couldnt stop laughing at "hakuna matata biatches" dont know why but it tickled me.
Anymore i could use a laugh
 
"Listen, you f**king fringe, if I throw a dog a bone, I don't want to know if it tastes good or not. You stop me again whilst I'm walking, and I'll cut your f**king Jacobs off." Brick Top, SNATCH
 
Not exactly what I would consider a one-liner, but try these (test: find the movie each relates to):

"Too much LRAB at Berkley" (easy)

In a Jewish accent, "It works nicely, doesn't it?" (more obscure)

"I'm only a poor, corrupt, official." (easy if you're into classics)

"...not in this ZIP Code..." (not exactly a movie but, WTH!)

"A Democrat" - Really obscure without context so I'll tell you it's a Christmas movie!

"You think I was Born Yesterday or summat?!"

Enough testing...
 
Danny Devito in "Other People's Money".

"Hello.....? No she can't come to the phone right now. She's too busy sucking my c*ck.

A line that's begging to be used at work on a bad day. :D
 
My two are Con Air when someone is using objects lying on the floor to represent things sayings this is the plane, this is the hangar etc. Someone else points to a rock and says what's that. The reply comes

'That's a rock'

The other is The Pianist when he is asked why he is wearing the German coat

'It's cold'
 
The Big Lebowski

The Dude: What's in the ****in' carrier?
Walter Sobchak: Huh? Oh, that's Cynthia's dog. I think it's a Pomeranian. I can't leave him home alone or he eats the furniture. I'm watching him while Cynthia and Marty Ackerman are in Hawaii.
The Dude: You brought the ****in' Pomeranian bowling?
Walter Sobchak: What do you mean brought it bowling, Dude? I didn't rent it shoes. I'm not buying it a ****ing beer. He's not taking your ****ing turn, Dude.
The Dude: Man, if my ****in' ex-wife asked me to take care of her ****in' dog while she and her boyfriend went to Honolulu I'd tell her to go **** herself.
 
Kingpin:

Roy: Yeah, well he blessed you, too, and I'll give you a hint what it is. It's round, has three holes, and you put your fingers into it.

Ishmael: You leave Rebecca out of this
 
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