We ended up doing the next best thing.
Took him out drinking to the Cuukoo's Nest (a college bar in town) with a few friends of mine and started shooting Kamikazes, Jag-bomb's, and Purple Moose on Acids with him. Got him shit faced and dropped him off at the El Roco on drag Queen night with a few other friends of mine that probably didn't mind staying based on their life choices.
I heard that the night was full of new experieces that he'd rather not relive, unless of course the alcohol only helped him in displaying his actual tendencies.