I dont even know where to begin. It's hard for me to even be open with anyone else even anonymously on the internet. I guess that's a good enough place to start. I dont think there is a single person I trust. I'm apathetic towards just about everything. Whenever I'm alone I feel like shit. I feel like everything I do is a waste of time. Half the time I dont even feel anything. I'm sick of being poor. I'm sick of not having nice things. I'm sick of getting in the passenger side of my piece of shit car because the drivers side broke. I'm sick of sitting home alone at night. I'm sick of looking in the fridge and seeing nothing good to eat. I'm sick of these fucking calluses on my hands. I'm tired of my lower back pain. I'm sick of not caring at all most of the time.
Fuck.
- Thread starter bar_enosh
- Start date
Well, a few months ago I'd have said "if you don't mind callouses (sp?), get into western Canada, and get a job in the oilfield". Now that oil prices are dropping so crazily, I can't really say that.
At the same time, brawn doesn't make the biggest money on its own. With no initial specific training, I went into a specialized industry. In my opinion, I'm doing quite well. Then again, in the last few months I've begun to consider myself a nerd or geek.
To sum up what I'm trying to say...I worked in labor jobs for a number of years, and then got a "geek" type job. I used to work my ass off all day, now I work my brain most of the day and spin a screwdriver for half that time. I'm not making any more money (than before) yet, but it will happen.
Just throwin' it out there.
At the same time, brawn doesn't make the biggest money on its own. With no initial specific training, I went into a specialized industry. In my opinion, I'm doing quite well. Then again, in the last few months I've begun to consider myself a nerd or geek.
To sum up what I'm trying to say...I worked in labor jobs for a number of years, and then got a "geek" type job. I used to work my ass off all day, now I work my brain most of the day and spin a screwdriver for half that time. I'm not making any more money (than before) yet, but it will happen.
Just throwin' it out there.
Sometimes it's easier to share what's on your mind with total strangers than with people you're close to - especially if you're looking for a straight answer and not coddling.
Having trust issues myself I understand this. You don't have to trust people to get by in this world. In fact, a lot of times you're better off trusting nobody. At least that way you won't get fucked over/walked on/betrayed. It's amazing the amount of people that so readily betray someone's trust for their own self-serving purposes.
The fact that you're talking about it shows that some piece of you DOES care and longs to change the situation, otherwise you wouldn't have made this post to begin with. It's just hard for some people that have been in a certain set of circumstances for so long to see a way out of it.
Have you seen anyone about this? It's possible you may have some depression. They've got drugs out there that can help you get out of this hole and get your life going again.
Then work to better yourself. If you want money and nice things you're going to have to work for it. Simply wanting it isn't good enough. Get into school. Can't get into school? Learn a trade from someone who's willing to teach you. Can't do that? Find a job which may start out with shit pay, but in which raises/promotions are performance-based and there is plenty of room to move up. Even in a shitty economy like this, there are still decent paying jobs out there, you just have to be motivated enough to find them, and maybe willing to make the sacrifice of moving away or other sacrifices in order to get them.
Get out and do something. Socialize. Take up a hobby. Go to a movie. Do SOMETHING to take your mind off being lonely.
Again, then do something about it. Look for opportunities to find a better job. Nobody's holding you back but you.
At least you care some of the time. Start from there and move forward. Wallowing in self-pity and "I wish" and "I want" and "If only" never got anyone jack shit. You want your situation to change? Knuckle down and do something about it.
Having trust issues myself I understand this. You don't have to trust people to get by in this world. In fact, a lot of times you're better off trusting nobody. At least that way you won't get fucked over/walked on/betrayed. It's amazing the amount of people that so readily betray someone's trust for their own self-serving purposes.
The fact that you're talking about it shows that some piece of you DOES care and longs to change the situation, otherwise you wouldn't have made this post to begin with. It's just hard for some people that have been in a certain set of circumstances for so long to see a way out of it.
Have you seen anyone about this? It's possible you may have some depression. They've got drugs out there that can help you get out of this hole and get your life going again.
Then work to better yourself. If you want money and nice things you're going to have to work for it. Simply wanting it isn't good enough. Get into school. Can't get into school? Learn a trade from someone who's willing to teach you. Can't do that? Find a job which may start out with shit pay, but in which raises/promotions are performance-based and there is plenty of room to move up. Even in a shitty economy like this, there are still decent paying jobs out there, you just have to be motivated enough to find them, and maybe willing to make the sacrifice of moving away or other sacrifices in order to get them.
Get out and do something. Socialize. Take up a hobby. Go to a movie. Do SOMETHING to take your mind off being lonely.
Again, then do something about it. Look for opportunities to find a better job. Nobody's holding you back but you.
At least you care some of the time. Start from there and move forward. Wallowing in self-pity and "I wish" and "I want" and "If only" never got anyone jack shit. You want your situation to change? Knuckle down and do something about it.
AsIaN~WoLf LoVeR
New member
I completely and totally empathize with you in every aspect you've described. The worst part of my day is waking up hands down, and there is nothing that can lift your spirits.
Jesus are you my twin? Who knows. I get in the car the same way and also hurt my back, and also I'm poor. But i got into college across the country, so I'm getting in my damn car moving and making my life. So find that one thing that you wanna do with your life and peruse it. I'm doing it and most of those small problems are going away 
Good luck! That's my best advice.
Good luck! That's my best advice.