Fuck my childhood, fuck child abuse, it fucking sucks ass

my parrents dont know how old i am i used to get really good grades and the would be nice im doing bad in school now i cant remember the last time they looked at me dam hatred would be better than this just denial
i think my parrenst are in denial over my existance
the apple may fall far from the tree
just because my dad has 3 colladge degrees dosent meen i have to go and get 3 also i will be happy with one damit

my mom treid to get me locked up in a mentale hospital once

my school counsler stoped her

my mom stil says i have mental conditions though
just because i dont want to leave the house i dont like people damit
i hate society and people in general that dosent mean you send me to a mental hospital

i beg every day to be home schooled to no avail

dam no child left behind act my parrents where gunna do home school me once but nochild left behind means il be a highschool drop out
before it would have been home schooled now its drop out
fuck bush!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
Eh, sorta. Descent goes on rants about pretty much anything and everything- Sega, Nickelodeon, marketing, Frosted Flakes, but I still read what he has to say, I don't always get it.

I don't always find funny what he finds funny. And I have hardly any sympathy for him and his problems. Why? Because people with disorders always ask to be treated "like everyone else", so thats exactly how I treat them. I believe in supporting people with disorders, but not pitying them.

And thats also why I don't care about Christopher Reeves. :thumbsup:
 
You know why you shouldn't care about Christopher Reeves? He's DEAD! Dead people have indigestion!

I just cleaned my basement! How awesome is that! Very if you ask me.

See people, you don't have a choice with anything you do. Everything you do is because you HAVE to do it. I HAD to clean my desk at some point. I chose to do it now! You don't have any free will like you think. You have to go through life doing the same thing everyone else does. You don't have a choice to be completely unproductive, you have to do something or else! OR ELSE! Or else what? Well, you tell me! But I'll also tell you this: ONE DAY THE ANGRY GODS WILL COME AFTER YOU AND MAKE YOU CHEW THEIR TOBACCO IF YOU DO NOT DO THINGS YOU HAVE TO DO. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
 
Sometimes Lampy isn't meant to be understood. ;)

Lamp, yeah, you say you HAVE to do this. NO, you don't. you could give up, become someone who lives in his mother's basement until you die, could become a complete mean asshole who hurts others, a serial killer, commit suicide, end up in prison lost in the system, end up in an institution, I could go on. BUT, when you CHOSE to deal with this like everything else in life and make it day by day like everyone else, you chose the tougher path, the one that many won't take and would rather sit on an hinderance, issue, disability or whatever enables them to live off of sympathy or do the above. So, no, sorry, you're wrong again. :tongue:
 
Well, in MY case I'd have to do something about it, my mom would kick me out of here eventually and she actually has already tried to do that(however my counselor claimed it was a bad idea).

I already went down the mean asshole route. It was called high school. It's not really a glamorous thing and I hope I never fall into that trap again.

The suicide and institution things are things that cross my mind pretty much every day at this point...but I have been doing some thinking lately...I'm not in school right now because I figured I'd fail and yeah I may be using that as a cop out, but I also wanted to take time to hang out with some friends and maybe do things I didn't have a chance to do before. Well, so far this year, I've done a whole lot of nothing. My friends are usually busy with school and work and what not. Too bad all my friends are motivated to live productive lives...maybe I could get away with not wanting it. I see myself with one of three practical choices right now:

1) Continue to do what I'm doing now and feel more and more miserable each day with suicide thoughts growing at a moderate rate.
2) Pick up a second job and basically set my path for having no choice but to work lots of hours for crap and have no opportunity to even have a social life of any kind and have suicide thoughts grow at a fairly quick rate.
3) Attempt to go back to school, regardless of whether or not I'd fail, it's something that would keep my mind occupied, enhance my knowledge, keep me active, and give me some sort of purpose to live. Maybe I would probably fail, but it's still worth a try because nothing else I'm doing seems to be working.

For obvious reasons to you and me, number 3 is sounding better and better by the minute and something I'm strongly considering at this point. Not that I can guarantee it will work...maybe I'll feel miserable anyway even if I do good. It's the thought that counts I guess. If I had good friends, I could get away with living the life I do now, but as it stands I'm not really a likeable person and I don't do drugs or anything when I can help it so there wouldn't be any reason to hang out with me otherwise. I figure if a guy's not gonna have any friends, he's gotta be doing something! Because it's when you're doing nothing often that your mind becomes the most dangerous weapon of all...

Oh, and that post yesterday was during some bizarre manic spell or something. I guess feeling so depressed it hurt just to stand made me realize I need to feel good once in a while and I went overboard.
 
Lamp, I truly believe that you will succeed. I think it's going to take a LOT of effort, downright determination and flatout perserverence. I think it's going to get harder to bear and seem completely hopeless before one day, you just decide to change it and things make a complete turn for the better. You might have already been through this and are already on that path. You just seem too intelligent and strong-willed to not give it EVERYTHING you can.

It might take some help or nudges by professionals, family, friends, or hell even medication - that perhaps you will get over ruling out, something you could stand the idea of. I know you'll say no now, but who knows where you'll be in a few years, or how your mindset might change.

All that aside, I just don't see YOU giving up or giving in hun. I think deep down neither do you. ;)
 
I guess I'm one of the incredibly lucky ones.

I was diagnosed with Aspergers syndrome when I was 12. My mother grew up in an abusive household with an abusive whole family of 6 kids. She knew how to love a child, because she knows how horrible it is without it. She put in the work and the effort to get me the proper education and training in social cues and social skills. She understood my obsessions, and gave me free range. She understood that when I don't say anything, it's not because I'm angry. I'm just not saying anything. She knew that I needed to be taught how to understand how to socialise with other people, and how to understand them too.

Being diagnosed with Aspergers also explained why I have a Canadian accent and I'm Australian, why I never sleep, and why I was always lost in school, off in my own little world, :D drumming on desks, etc, why I got so frustrated when someone crossed my train of thought by trying to talk to me when I'm in my zone, why I could only ever talk about my current obsession, why I am always so pedantic, why I still - at 18 years old and living on my own - prefer to sleep with the main light on, why I know so much about stuff most people wouldn't really think about, etc. I consider myself incredibly, incredibly lucky, and it hurts to know that there are people like me that weren't so lucky, and ended up in a world of constant mis-understanding. I know what it's like to be constantly mis-understood, but only from my early days of school. I still always had my home as my safe haven.

Oh, and did someone say Sega? I was obsessed with Sonic the Hedgehog for 10 years! =)

Still sorta am. Sonic rocks, though. I used to resent mario =P I still play my Sega Saturn. And Dreamcast. And Genesis. And the rest of them...:tongue:
 
Hell, I called my psychologist and asked to be medicated last week or so...he can't perscribe it though, he's not qualified.

And MiracleBlue, good for you man. Keep charging onward!
 
Lampy, psychologists can't prescribe meds, you'll need to go to a psychiatrist for that. Your shrink should be able to recommend one and, if your psychologist is covered by insurance, so should the psychiatrist be as well.
 
Tostig's right, but damn, I really dislike psychiatrists because that's basically ALL they do is prescribe drugs and really push to do it. If you have a family doc that could perhaps prescribe anti-depressants (assuming that's what you were thinking about) with perhaps the request of your current psychologist, I'd try that route if it were me...
 
Damn, sorry for the double post, do I really need to say it again, my edit button issue? grrr

Anyway, Lamp, I wanted to add that I suppose a psychiatrist would be fine since you already know for a fact what your condition is. I just know when they're not sure why or what is wrong sometimes they just "experiment" with meds to see what works, and psych meds are the bitch while they do this.

I know I don't have to tell you to make sure you read up on any med they prescribe. I've seem psychotropic meds given to people as sedatives before because they just wanted to "make sure" the patient was "at ease". :rolleyes:
 
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