Frustrated....

R

RIP Billy Mays

New member
For years, I've been struggling with something. I have not demonstrated any physical symptoms other than fatigue (which can be due to lack of restful sleep) but I seem to be passing something infectious to my close contacts, etc. It's made me self conscious enough that I continually wash my hands but others seem to becoming ill. Usually manifests as inability to sleep, but the main symptoms occur usually within 7-14 days and is usually nausea, vomiting, and diarrhea. I've been to internists, gastroenterologists, infec disease MDs but the usual suspects come up negative (hep A,B,C; HIV;stool exams for ova&parasites X 4). in the end, the conclusion is that based on my normal results, the usual default is "i'm either obsessed with the idea i'm sick or it's in all in my head" - i.e. OCD. this is very distressing to me b/c i am sure of it now that it's not coincidental. I've tried to research this intensively and can only surmise it to be a virus with GI manifestations (EBV, CMV?), a parasite (the stool o&p exams aren't that sensitive/diagnostic in catching the multitude that are out there). I am definitely some sort of asymptomatic chronic carrier of either a virus or parasite. I have an appt. upcoming and thought another consult with a GI specialist would be in order due to the symptomology others have been experiencing. I'm at my wits end because i cannot stop this cycle and causing me grief b/c i pass it on with everything i touch. What way is this to live? I do not want to affect people with this anymore. I've done everything humanly possible to to get to the bottom of this. I just want this to stop. :( Any advice is appreciated. - H
 
So you are saying that every time you meet a new people, they become ill with stomach problems within a couple weeks? Huh.

Probably not a parasite. Those are harder to spread than viruses, especially if you practice good hygiene.
 
It's weird, but I've seen a few people post on these forums with a complaint similar to yours. Think about something: when you go to the doctor, it doesn't matter what test s/he does, because no negative test will put your mind at ease, and I will tell you now that no test will be positive. The only thing that you could MAYBE have is be a carrier for typhoid, but seeing as you live in the US, it's very unlikely you have that.

Your type of situation ends up becoming more than what you think is wrong with you, but a huge obsession in your head. I have a feeling you have above-average intelligence, because people like you (i mean that in a good way!) tend to be very analytical and are more likely to obsess over things. In any case, I think you realize that part of what's happening to you is mental, but you can't shake that fact that it MIGHT be something YOU are doing yourself. Take a step back from the situation and ask yourself if you feel guilty about something, because a lot of the time, people who think they are constantly making others sick are actually feeling guilty about something deep down and it's manifesting this way.

I would suggest that you don't get any more tests from physicians because it'll only perpetuate the anxiety you are experiencing.
 
You mentioned viral and parasitic illnesses - did they test you for the usual bacterial culprits?

How you ever been out of the country? Even as a child?
 
I appreciate greatly your time and thoughts in responding to my post. I did neglect to post that I have indeed lived outside of the U.S. (S. America, Caribbean, and Asia), so Typhoid is a possibility. Thank you for allaying some of my concerns. Another ID consult is in order I think as this was never brought up in his differentials. If you have any additional insight cgranulomatis (or anyone), it is greatly appreciated.

H
 
I am sorry you feel this way...but it isn't true it can't be true because not everyone will get whatever you think you are giving...it just isn't medically possible. Even typhoid Mary was tested positive as a carrier she passed typhoid around because she wouldn't stop working with a lot of people...even so not everyone got it...There are tests for everything that you can pass on. What is possible is that you need to go to speak with a psychiatrist and see why you feel this way. Absolutely this has become a reality for it and you have become obsessive/compusive over it and there are medications that can help you with that thinking. No matter how much you feel you are passing this along you are not thinking clearly but you can prove me wrong by seeking a mental health consult. Good luck...I wish you all the luck and I am sorry that you are feeling so miserable. Anytime thoughts interfere with you living a reasonable relaxing life then it is time to add another medical /mental health screening tool...it can't hurt.
 
H,

I definitely do not think you are imagining this...and I think the fact that you've been abroad is significant. Have you mentioned that fact to your doctors? I wouldn't assume they would know what to look for even if you had mentioned it. A health care provider that specialized in communicable diseases overseas may be your best bet.

Keep in mind that we don't have tests for everything...many strains of bacteria/viruses/etc evolve over the course of time so tests don't always have answers we seek.

Take care!

Bethsheba
 
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