Friends of the groom brought a life size posterboard to our wedding?

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Mochabean

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i forgot to say the posterboard was a life size picture of a friend of the groom's that couldnt attend the wedding. Which I was glad because that friend is rude and crude.
and took pictures of it with ALL our guests. They didnt show us the poster board till the reception was over. I am FURIOUS and dont want them in my life anymore. My husband says this is unreasonable. I think they are selfish people with no manners that I dont want around me but I told my husband he can hang out with them outside our home. My husband thinks I am over reacting but I feel violated because I spent so much time, money and energy on making our day perfect and I feel that all people will remember is that posterboard. They even took pictures with my grandparents with the life size posterboard behind them.
 
man, you hate this guy so much you didn't even want a picture of him @ the wedding.

I'm assuming that the guy was invited to the wedding and that he would have been there if he could & you would have had to tolerate his actual presence at the wedding rather than an effigy that you didn't see and didn't know about until after the fact.

It's *only* for this reason that I'm saying you're overreacting. The alternative would have been for him to actually be there.

NOW my answer would change if you had said the guy was not invited to the wedding because he was rude and crude and the friends brought the effigy to the wedding as a way to make a personal jab at you.

In that case you wouldn't be overreacting because your husband's friends don't respect you and your relationship w/ your husband and you shouldn't have to tolerate people who dislike and disrespect you as a part of your daily life. (However I'd also have to question why you married someone who's friends hate you--that speaks to a whole lot of other problems/issues either with you or your husband or both.)

edit:
fwiw: bringing an effigy of someone who couldn't be there and taking pictures of it at the reception is pretty silly and harmless. They didn't bring it to the ceremony and disrupt the ceremony. They brought it to a party afterwards.

They could have trashed your car or did any of the other stupid wedding pranks people do. (I've seen cornflakes and old newspapers dumped on the inside of the car in addition to the traditional decorating of the car. never participated and don't agree w/ it, but it happens. It really could have been worse.)
 
I agree with your husband that you are overreacting...

I didn't have a wedding because a hurricane hit my town and destroyed the entire city, and we were still evacuated on my wedding day.

So if a poster board was biggest worry you had - then you need to be thankful you were blessed with such a wonderful wedding.
 
I think you are overreacting too. I think it's pretty tragic to start off your marriage by refusing to ever be around his friends again-your husband will always have to choose you or them.

Their prank was meant to be funny, not ill willed. If they were intentionally trying to sabatoge or humiliate you, it would be one thing, but I think it's pretty obvious that they were trying to be funny and pay tribute to their friend that couldn't be there. You being hurt was not their intention. I'm sure that people remember a lot more than a silly posterboard.
 
Was it a naked lady? A clown? Wedding receptions are supposed to be FUN! If it didn't derogate you, why are you so upset?

EDIT - I could tell you the hundred and two things that went wrong at my wedding last month but it is in the past. I wouldn't worry about it. You can be bitter about it but you're wasting precious energy that could be going towards your new life.
 
i think as long as they didn't interrupt your actual wedding pictures then you're over-reacting. I'm sure the postboard was a lot less disruptive than the annoying person depicted. if you didn't know what was on it till the end if can't have been that disturbing.
 
You gotta admit, that's pretty funny. So, have a sense of humor about it. I bet your guests were amused as well. You seem to be the only one with your nose out of joint about this. You weren't violated. Your wedding wasn't wrecked. It was just an amusing prank that only you took the wrong way. Get over it. Move on with your life. A wedding is only one day, a marriage is a lifetime.
 
Miss Manners has some wise words about "making our day perfect" that you should read over and over until they sink in.

You, out there in Brideland, you sweet thing ... Are you planning your wedding so that it will be perfect in every detail? Do you expect it to be the happiest day of your life? Miss Manners sincerely hopes not.
Few of those who prattle about that "happiest day" seem to consider the dour expectations this suggests about the marriage from its second day on. They don't realize that a wedding reception is basically a large party, and is therefore not perfectible because there are too variables, not to mention too many people who one thought would not accept the invitation. At any rate, someone whose idea of ultimate happiness is a day spent at a big party, even spent being the center of attention at a very marvelous big party, is too immature to get married.

This notion of a wedding persists, often working directly against the purpose of a wedding, which is to create a new family, and not to put cracks and strains in old ones. Miss Manners' advice to young brides is to plan weddings that will be pretty and festive, but not to attempt to make them grand on a scale unrelated to the rest of their lives, and not to expect them to be perfect. Many an otherwise lovely bride has turned ugly attempting to create a "dream" occasion and to make everyone else conform with her conception of their roles in it.

A warning that one has strayed too far afield is an excessive preoccupation with everything's being done "right". Weddings are rare events in most people's lives, and Miss Manners has no objections to the participants' seeking advice on correct form. She dispenses such advice herself, right and left. But if one needs professional direction -- not just help or advice -- in every aspect of the wedding, it may mean that one hs wondered into completely foreign social territory and should think about heading home. One's wedding should be a heightened version of one's best social life, not an occasion for people to attempt to play grand and unfamiliar roles in a fantasy play.

Another warning about expecting a perfect day is that this carries a built-in potential for disappointment. (There are adults who go through life expecting other people to make their birthdays perfect for them and if you ever meet one of these, watch out. Nothing will ever be enough for them.)

What Miss Manners wishes all brides is NOT the happiest days of their lives, but a jolly gathering of family and friends, in which they are the object of general admiration but EVERYONE has a good time. They will then have some happiness left over with which to live happily every after.
 
Sounds like they took a serious day and tried to take a joke way too far in an attempt to get attention for themselves. You are right to be angry.
 
it was silly but what harm did it cause, you are being unreasonable. it was a time for happiness and fun,
remember it was your husbands wedding day too.
 
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