Four years and I just don't want to have sex anymore?

L

La La Land

New member
We've been together for four years. We are both 22. Started off having lots of sex and now I just don't want to.

Im still attracted to him and love him dearly, but I really can't explain that to him since I am not sleeping with him.

I have even done it just because he wants too....its like I am completely turned off by sex..

And the problem is not a lack of greatness from him because he is wonderful in bed.

WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME? I DON'T WANT TO DO IT ANYMORE...
 
There's nothing wrong with you. But tell him that so he won't think you're cheating on him and getting "it" somewhere else.
 
Don't be so hard on yourself. Not every relationship is lust and passion all of the time. Are you on any medications that may hinder your libido? Maybe your bored with it. If it bothers you THAT much, see you doctor.
 
I'm not sure what your situation is, but maybe you need a change? And no i don't mean as in a different guy. But spice it up. Try having sex in different places, in a hot tub, car,pool. Being a little risky actually makes the experience fun and exciting and a little different than the bedroom. Try getting away here and there, my boyfriend and I go out of town and spend nights in hotels (when we have the money), and we plan 1 vacation a yr. It makes our relationship fun and new! I hope my answer helped!
 
Try to add some variety. Apparently limiting sex to say, just the bedroom is a hug turn off after a while. You need to mix it up a little. Go to a hotel with him, vacations, or maybe let him do it on the kitchen table. If you really want to try doing some role-playing. Not to get into too much detail, but maybe different positions. Some therapists even recommend pornos for ideas. Hope that helps.
 
it's possible you are just bored with the same thing. try experimenting, get online (with him) and see what's out there, or go to a book store and look at new positions, or different things that you both may want to try, but you should try talking to him and letting him know. if he loves you, and not the sex then he will understand.
 
then tell him you just dont feel like having it anymore. if he loves you he should understand
 
You should go to the doctor ,you could have an imbalance or something but you need to talk to the doctor and he or she can do the necessary tests.
 
Somethings just not right here. Maybe it has just become routine and you need to change things up a bit. Maybe you don't get any pleasure out of sex, some women don't. Try being playful and see where it leads. You also need to be honest with your bf, if you can't talk to him about it then your relationship is fake and done for that matter.
 
Have you started taking any medication recently? Meds like prozac and wellbutrin can put a serious dent in your sex drive.
 
Everyone's sex drive ebbs and flows and gets stronger and weaker as the years go by. I wouldn't worry about it, but I would try to talk to your partner about it, not when he is wanting to have sex, but in a neutral setting, like right after dinner when you are cleaning up. Communication is key! Even if you can't exactly say what's going on, still try because he will appreciate that you are trying and not just blowing him off.
 
I can relate. I just had a baby, but it's been 3 months and I haven't got the desire. Hell, I lost the desire well into my pregnancy. And my bf and I sexxed like crazy. I don't know if my body and mind is like frozen because of it or what, I don't know. But you do need to explain that to him, because guys will automatically think you're cheating if you brush him off. Tell him you need a cool off, and maybe when you had a break and without him hounding you, then you might get in the mood. But if you're trying to get your mojo back, google some aphrodisiacs to get it going. I'll give you a freebie:oysters.
 
i dont think its a problem.. just make sure he doesn;t get sexually drustrated... i seen many couples go down cos of things like this...

but yeah.. talk to him about it.. and dont go see a doctor about it.......... and you;re not gay.......... just talk it over.... i hope you'll stay with him :)
 
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