Despite our expectations, it is not always easy to tell if a woman has had an orgasm. Few women present all the classic signs of sexual arousal and orgasm as presented in textbooks. Even if they do, it is hard to be aware of them during sexual passion. These indications of orgasm are based on watching multiple women experience orgasm in a laboratory environment; not the bedroom with the lights off and the bed covers pulled up. The "data" collected was used to compile a list of common physical responses. These common responses have become "expectations" versus possibilities. This is where mechanics can interfere with pleasure; when one tries to meet a definition for which they were never intended to. You cannot check off boxes on an orgasm scorecard to determine if you or your partner has had an orgasm. The only way to know if a woman has had an orgasm is by her telling you that she has, because it really comes down to whether she has "perceived" that she has, not whether it looks or feels like she did.
There is no foolproof way of knowing if a woman has had an orgasm, even for the woman herself. The physical qualities of a woman's orgasms, and as a result her perception of them, is likely to change from orgasm to orgasm. There are times when she may not know whether she has actually had an orgasm versus experience intense sexual pleasure; which can at times be more enjoyable than an orgasm. If a woman has an orgasm, that does not automatically mean she experienced pleasure, or at least intense pleasure. An orgasm can be boring! A woman's orgasm may produce so little physical sensation she may wonder if it really was an orgasm. According to Betty Dodson, she has witnessed women having orgasms when they did not perceive that they had. Other women just do not know if they do, not knowing for sure, but they think they do. If a woman is not likely to know whether she has had an orgasm in every instance, is it reasonable to expert her partner to know?
