Is there any difference if you get a scar will that effects your looks? If one of your children is bit by a dog and has scars, do you stop loving them? I do have a scar on my face, but if you ask my husband he probably has never noticed. Just as my daughter who had over 100 stitches in her face from a dog bite, those who know her do not see the scars. Why can't more people believe love is from the heart and looks can change at the blink of an eye?
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For those whose spouse complains about your weight?
- Thread starter leslie k
- Start date
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consider_this_today
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You know, it is funny to hear people such as the person who asked this question as well as weight loss consultant. They will scream of how people should just accept and like someone as they are for who they are, yet the probably do not offer too many others what they ask of others.
People have a right to be who and what they are. They do not have a right to demand or expect others to like them as they are. One of the things I have found over time is this. It is often not so much the weight of a person that causes others to be put off by them as much as it is the attitude of the heavy person. Yes, one has a right to be fat. No, they do not have a right to expect others to see them as skinny or to accept the excuses that many heavy people make for things.
I wonder how many of the people who scream to be understood or appreciated for who and how they are have been just as happy and willing to give that to others? Probably a lot less then will admit to it.
Yes, looks can change rapidly. Yes, we should look for the inner person and inner beauty of others. Yes, we should try to be compassionate and understanding of others. But please, if you are one who says such things, make sure you do so before you complain about others not doing it.
People have a right to be who and what they are. They do not have a right to demand or expect others to like them as they are. One of the things I have found over time is this. It is often not so much the weight of a person that causes others to be put off by them as much as it is the attitude of the heavy person. Yes, one has a right to be fat. No, they do not have a right to expect others to see them as skinny or to accept the excuses that many heavy people make for things.
I wonder how many of the people who scream to be understood or appreciated for who and how they are have been just as happy and willing to give that to others? Probably a lot less then will admit to it.
Yes, looks can change rapidly. Yes, we should look for the inner person and inner beauty of others. Yes, we should try to be compassionate and understanding of others. But please, if you are one who says such things, make sure you do so before you complain about others not doing it.
Y
Yuki B
Guest
People can't believe that because they're shallow and oblivious.
If your husband complains about your weight, I think you ought to complain about something of his that you know will hurt his feelings - his penis size, perhaps, or maybe his performance in the sack? Surely there's something you've held back on to spare his feelings - now is the time to cut loose. Show him how it feels!
If you're comfortable with your weight, tell him so. And tell him that you THOUGHT he married you because he loved you, not because he was attracted to you physically. Ask him wha he plans to do when you get older, gray-haired and wrinkly? Looks do fade, and you're absolutely right that they can change in the blink of an eye.
He's putting far too much importance on something as transient as physical appearance, but since he is in fact so shallow, I think that taking a hit to his own self confidence would make him think a little harder on it.
If your husband complains about your weight, I think you ought to complain about something of his that you know will hurt his feelings - his penis size, perhaps, or maybe his performance in the sack? Surely there's something you've held back on to spare his feelings - now is the time to cut loose. Show him how it feels!
If you're comfortable with your weight, tell him so. And tell him that you THOUGHT he married you because he loved you, not because he was attracted to you physically. Ask him wha he plans to do when you get older, gray-haired and wrinkly? Looks do fade, and you're absolutely right that they can change in the blink of an eye.
He's putting far too much importance on something as transient as physical appearance, but since he is in fact so shallow, I think that taking a hit to his own self confidence would make him think a little harder on it.
I think when you're in love those things don't matter. If my husband or I want to get healthy then I support that (I think I'm getting a bike...lol). He encourages me to be healthy but, loves me just the same.
I think to really answser your question it's "human nature". People pick out anomilies and differences. So, a scar or other traits a person notices but, if in love...really, then it will not matter. There's a lot of data on how the human eye and mind work to pick out mates based on looks...it goes back to the Ancient Greeks study of it. Very interesting but, I as well, like to think humans are not so shallow.
Good luck!
I think to really answser your question it's "human nature". People pick out anomilies and differences. So, a scar or other traits a person notices but, if in love...really, then it will not matter. There's a lot of data on how the human eye and mind work to pick out mates based on looks...it goes back to the Ancient Greeks study of it. Very interesting but, I as well, like to think humans are not so shallow.
Good luck!
People can be superficial and it's easy to judge based on appearance. I don't judge people by their appearance. I always think a person that is overweight could have a medical problem. I used to be overweight because of a medical problem. I respect the people in my life that have treated me the same no matter what I looked like or how much I weighed.
weight loss consultant
New member
If they can't love you for you are they worth your worry and love?
Weight and scars are not the same.
You can drastically control your weight.
It is a choice to stay fat, you don't choose to keep scars.
A scar doesn't reduce your lifetime.
A scar doesn't decrease your general energy level.
Wanting yourself and your spouse to be fit and physically attractive is NOT shallow. Wanting to pig out, be lethargic, and not take care of yourself is juvenile.
That doesn't mean expecting each other to look like movie stars and super-models; it means doing what you can to make yourself fit and attractive as who you are.
You can drastically control your weight.
It is a choice to stay fat, you don't choose to keep scars.
A scar doesn't reduce your lifetime.
A scar doesn't decrease your general energy level.
Wanting yourself and your spouse to be fit and physically attractive is NOT shallow. Wanting to pig out, be lethargic, and not take care of yourself is juvenile.
That doesn't mean expecting each other to look like movie stars and super-models; it means doing what you can to make yourself fit and attractive as who you are.
Those are different things and are nothing alike. Weight is always a sensitive issue but when your spouse complain about your weight it shows that maybe they are insensitive. It does not mean they do not love you it just means they complain because they do not like it. I have never had this happen to me nor have I said that to my spouse or thought it. Some people are used to a certain person and later in life when they pack on some weight and do not stay fit anymore they have a problem with it and tell you about it. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and if a man or woman truly loves their spouse it would not bother them.