Fish Warrior??! Gimme a fuckin' break, you 'extreme' douchebags

  • Thread starter Thread starter Boyo Jim
  • Start date Start date
jayjay said:
Kobal2 said:
(seriously though, you guys have got fishing shows ? I think the old "watching paint dry" standard's been topped. Which is pretty extreme.)
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We also have hunting shows. Which is even less exciting than it sounds. It consists mostly of some guy sitting behind a bush waiting for a deer or a turkey to show up. Unless he's hunting on a ranch or something, in which case it consists of some guy sitting up in a tree near the (filled) feeding station waiting for a deer or an elk.
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Yeah, but at least there you have the prospect of gun violence. Gore, cruelty, military fatigues and needless animal suffering, good times man. Unless they're fishing with hand grenades, the most exciting stuff that can happen while fishing is your line going slightly taut by itself, and maybe Cletus yelling "Oh, it's a big'un !" while he's reeling it in.
 
I bought an oxymoronic protein bar once that was EXTREME VANILLA!!! flavor. True story. Tasted like vanilla shit.
 
I'm gonna quit working and be extremely unemployed.

Gasp delightedly as I wake at 10 AM! Look on in wonder as I slink into the money-saving movie matinee! Recoil in horror as I buy generic brand foods and ride my bike to save mony on gas! Sob pathetically observing me in my native environment, alone and unloved, with nothing but a cheap paperback to while away the evening hours.

If it ain't a reality show yet, it probably will be. Because it's cheap to produce and that's the bottom line.
 
Kobal2 said:
jayjay said:
Kobal2 said:
(seriously though, you guys have got fishing shows ? I think the old "watching paint dry" standard's been topped. Which is pretty extreme.)
Click to expand...

We also have hunting shows. Which is even less exciting than it sounds. It consists mostly of some guy sitting behind a bush waiting for a deer or a turkey to show up. Unless he's hunting on a ranch or something, in which case it consists of some guy sitting up in a tree near the (filled) feeding station waiting for a deer or an elk.
Click to expand...

Yeah, but at least there you have the prospect of gun violence. Gore, cruelty, military fatigues and needless animal suffering, good times man. Unless they're fishing with hand grenades, the most exciting stuff that can happen while fishing is your line going slightly taut by itself, and maybe Cletus yelling "Oh, it's a big'un !" while he's reeling it in.
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Well, I did watch (sort of, sideways while working at home) a show the other day with some guys fishing Marlins, they had some very impressive footage of the huge fish jumping off the water. In the end the fish actually jumped into the boat and nearly loped the fisherman's head off*. I was cheering for the fish at that point. :D

*The "sword" hit him on the face, and cut open one of his cheeks. Pretty serious but the guy recovered.
 
Kobal2 said:
jayjay said:
Kobal2 said:
(seriously though, you guys have got fishing shows ? I think the old "watching paint dry" standard's been topped. Which is pretty extreme.)
Click to expand...

We also have hunting shows. Which is even less exciting than it sounds. It consists mostly of some guy sitting behind a bush waiting for a deer or a turkey to show up. Unless he's hunting on a ranch or something, in which case it consists of some guy sitting up in a tree near the (filled) feeding station waiting for a deer or an elk.
Click to expand...

Yeah, but at least there you have the prospect of gun violence. Gore, cruelty, military fatigues and needless animal suffering, good times man. Unless they're fishing with hand grenades, the most exciting stuff that can happen while fishing is your line going slightly taut by itself, and maybe Cletus yelling "Oh, it's a big'un !" while he's reeling it in.
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I recently met a friend's mother, who is an anesthesiologist in a rural area. We were chatting about her work, and she said that when hunting season starts, they inevitably get a rush of broken bones in her ER. Why? Guys go up in stands in the trees and bring a cooler with perhaps some adult beverages. Eventually, they need to relieve themselves, so they walk up to the edge of the stand, piss, and sometimes plummet down to the ground.

So I think there is still one unexplored XTREEEEEEM!!! market here: "Watch drunk guys fall out of trees whilst urinating on themselves".
 
The way that reads, they watchers may also be urinating on themselves while watching the drunk guys fall out of trees.

And, we may have found a new form of extreme hunting. You drink and drink, and eventually fall on top of your prey. The higher you fall from, the more points.

Hmmm.... maybe that's not right. I would rather fall on a grizzly bear from 50 feet up then collapse over one from ground level. At least from high up you have a chance of knocking it out.
 
My favorite fishing show is Fishing With John. IMHO one of the only fishing shows worth watching.
IMDB.com said:
Musician John Lurie knows nothing about fishing, but that doesn't stop him from embarking on fishing in exotic locations with friends.
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His guests have included Tom Waits, Willem Dafoe, Matt Dillon, Dennis Hopper.:D
 
mhendo said:
Labrador Deceiver said:
That might be the dumbest thing I've ever seen. The only title that guy deserves is douchebag of the decade.
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His accent sounds like it's from New Zealand, and sometimes those Kiwis needs a change of scenery from jumping on sheep. Jumping on marlin seems like a reasonable enough diversion.
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That's completely unreasonable ethno-somethingorother-ist... some of us don't even like lamb chops.

As for Mr Helicopter-Marlin-Guy he's not a... what? ultimatefishingshow.com... Matt Watson... small town in NZ... oh... crap. Nevermind. :D
 
Boyo Jim said:
Are we talking extreme pissers, or extreme pisser watchers?
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Well, I was thinking the former, but I suppose the latter would also be "extreme" by some definition or another.
jayjay said:
NinjaChick said:
So I think there is still one unexplored XTREEEEEEM!!! market here: "Watch drunk guys fall out of trees whilst urinating on themselves".
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That's not so much a sports category as a pr0n category, actually.
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I see no reason why porn can't be sportsified. Not all of it must be, but, y'know. Audience participation. Vigorous physical movements. Heavy movements.

I feel incredibly dirty now.
 
OK, let me explain myself. I like River Monsters because, despite the lurid name, it's really more about conservation and getting rid of the media hype around a lot of these big fish species.
 
Zsofia said:
singular1 said:
I've only seen one River Monster, but I was impressed - the guys were "noodlin'", which is using your fat fingers as bait for 250# catfish! Now that deserved the title "extremely nuts".
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My uncle used to do that. I've never understood why.
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noodling.

Yeah, those guys are crazy. They shove their arms through the catfish's mouth and out one of the gills, and then just yank 'em outta the water. From what I've seen, they usually get cut up pretty good doing it, too.
 
I don't care much for all these fishing, hunting, ice road trucker reality shows either- Nat Geo, History, and Discovery have gotten sort of lazy and unimaginative in their programming lately. I watched "River Monsters" one time and got totally disgusted when the featured monster fish was a stingray in Vietnam. If you'd never heard of stingrays before watching this show, you'd get the idea that they love to eat humans for breakfast. I always thought that they only attacked if you stepped on them or provoked them somehow. This knucklehead was dragging a ray out of the river by the ray's nose, and whined about getting stung! Serves him right.
 
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