padiddleboop
New member
Ok so I'm writing a book and I literally JUST wrote this paragraph...also, I've had a bit of whiskey and am not sure if my writing skills are present...please let me know if this sounds good at all...
Earl Wood died on the happiest day of his life. He had been informed just hours before of the birth of his first grandchild, which, to him, was even better than both his wedding day and the birth of his two sons. His wife was not offended by this; in face, she agreed with him. Welcoming Gavin into this world, according to Earl and Nancy, was the culmination of their love, and the fact that their devotion to one another could result in more than one generation of Woods equally amazed them.
It began with contractions in an In-n-Out parking lot; Olivia had just indulged in a strawberry milkshake when she began to feel intense abdominal pains that she knew could only be one thing--her first child was about to make an appearance. She winced and inhaled sharply; Casey glanced at her from the driver's seat.
"Babe, what's wrong?"
"I'm not sure," Olivia said, still wincing. "This could be it."
Never being one to take chances, Casey swung a U-turn to make his way toward the hospital. After envisioning similar scenarios for the past nine months, it all felt so surreal. The traffic lights were a mass of blurred green as Casey sped through Los Angeles traffic, taking advantage of red lights to check up on Olivia. She was now practicing her Lamaze breathing and still clutching her perfectly round stomach--suddenly, she gasped.
Ok, I'm sorry Kate, but since you have not posted any questions and I can't compare my writing to yours, I have to assume that
1. You don't know what you're talking about.
2. I know that I'm at least proficient in grammar, syntax, and punctuation seeing as I have been in upper division English classes for years
3. You give absolutely no examples of these so-called "flaws" that you see.
No, I'm not saying my writing is perfect; we all have room for improvement. But obviously you are lacking something and going around insulting everyone else's writing makes you feel better. I feel sorry for you; get a life.
I just realized that transition might be a bit confusing...I might change it later on. Casey is the elder of Nancy and Earl's two sons; Olivia is giving birth to Gavin, Earl's grandson.
Earl Wood died on the happiest day of his life. He had been informed just hours before of the birth of his first grandchild, which, to him, was even better than both his wedding day and the birth of his two sons. His wife was not offended by this; in face, she agreed with him. Welcoming Gavin into this world, according to Earl and Nancy, was the culmination of their love, and the fact that their devotion to one another could result in more than one generation of Woods equally amazed them.
It began with contractions in an In-n-Out parking lot; Olivia had just indulged in a strawberry milkshake when she began to feel intense abdominal pains that she knew could only be one thing--her first child was about to make an appearance. She winced and inhaled sharply; Casey glanced at her from the driver's seat.
"Babe, what's wrong?"
"I'm not sure," Olivia said, still wincing. "This could be it."
Never being one to take chances, Casey swung a U-turn to make his way toward the hospital. After envisioning similar scenarios for the past nine months, it all felt so surreal. The traffic lights were a mass of blurred green as Casey sped through Los Angeles traffic, taking advantage of red lights to check up on Olivia. She was now practicing her Lamaze breathing and still clutching her perfectly round stomach--suddenly, she gasped.
Ok, I'm sorry Kate, but since you have not posted any questions and I can't compare my writing to yours, I have to assume that
1. You don't know what you're talking about.
2. I know that I'm at least proficient in grammar, syntax, and punctuation seeing as I have been in upper division English classes for years
3. You give absolutely no examples of these so-called "flaws" that you see.
No, I'm not saying my writing is perfect; we all have room for improvement. But obviously you are lacking something and going around insulting everyone else's writing makes you feel better. I feel sorry for you; get a life.
I just realized that transition might be a bit confusing...I might change it later on. Casey is the elder of Nancy and Earl's two sons; Olivia is giving birth to Gavin, Earl's grandson.