Whitetiger
New member
I never thought I'd be an addict. I am 36 and have been on fioricet for 10 years. I chalked it up to being stressed with the pregnancy of my twins since I had taking the drug STICTLY for headaches from '94-'98 ( I remeraber when 30 pills would last me 6 months!) Then I had taken them one day because I thought I was getting a headache but probably was only stressed out...I felt this wave of relief come over me. All the stress wasn't so bad anymore and it just increased from there. At first it wasn't too bad. Two here and there then two a day then, at one point up to 10-12 day. In the process I can say through my entire marriage I was a prescription addict.
I felt I needed them to get through the day. What would I do if I woke up without them handy?? In the process, I lost my marriage to a really great guy who didn't really understand why I did it nor did he have any idea how to help me. I took his complacent behavior to mean he didn't care when, in actuality, he really just wasn't a PhD. I cheated on him many times, lied and told him I was off them and when he didn't double check to make sure I was off them....I took that too as a sign that he did not care. I felt I could do anything and he would be oblivious to it, and for the most part, he was. My life turned into lying about where I was when he called on the days I had the doctor's appointments, scurrying to pull out extra cash at the grocery store when I bought things with the debit card so I could have the money for the doctor and the drugs. I had been to a psychiatrist who I finally told about the addiction and I must have been really good at lying because he too never questioned me when I told him I had relapsed after I quit. I just kept taking them all the while telling him I had stopped almost a year before and he never drug tested me the whole time.
I have been off them now for 8 days. I have quit before (almost 2 years ago) for 30 days. Right before I went to the doctor back then, I remeraber thinking "what else can I put in it's place?" The only thing that came to mind was Bailey's but that's not something I can "pop" at 6 in the morning. I am sitting here now going through waves of depression, guilt and failure. I will be divorced next Wed. of my own doing. I ruined everything. I am so sorry but it's way too late to change my mistakes now. I wait to see if they're ever going to knock at my door for doctor shopping, watch my kiRAB in a state of confusion over why mommy wants to just lie in bed on the weekenRAB and not do anything with or for them. Believe me it is the most awful drug to take. You think you will never become addicted and then it happens. I remeraber reading that label 14 years ago "this drug may be habit forming" and thought "it'll never happen to me"
Please wish me luck with this. I know I was depressed while on them and now I'm still depressed without them.
I felt I needed them to get through the day. What would I do if I woke up without them handy?? In the process, I lost my marriage to a really great guy who didn't really understand why I did it nor did he have any idea how to help me. I took his complacent behavior to mean he didn't care when, in actuality, he really just wasn't a PhD. I cheated on him many times, lied and told him I was off them and when he didn't double check to make sure I was off them....I took that too as a sign that he did not care. I felt I could do anything and he would be oblivious to it, and for the most part, he was. My life turned into lying about where I was when he called on the days I had the doctor's appointments, scurrying to pull out extra cash at the grocery store when I bought things with the debit card so I could have the money for the doctor and the drugs. I had been to a psychiatrist who I finally told about the addiction and I must have been really good at lying because he too never questioned me when I told him I had relapsed after I quit. I just kept taking them all the while telling him I had stopped almost a year before and he never drug tested me the whole time.
I have been off them now for 8 days. I have quit before (almost 2 years ago) for 30 days. Right before I went to the doctor back then, I remeraber thinking "what else can I put in it's place?" The only thing that came to mind was Bailey's but that's not something I can "pop" at 6 in the morning. I am sitting here now going through waves of depression, guilt and failure. I will be divorced next Wed. of my own doing. I ruined everything. I am so sorry but it's way too late to change my mistakes now. I wait to see if they're ever going to knock at my door for doctor shopping, watch my kiRAB in a state of confusion over why mommy wants to just lie in bed on the weekenRAB and not do anything with or for them. Believe me it is the most awful drug to take. You think you will never become addicted and then it happens. I remeraber reading that label 14 years ago "this drug may be habit forming" and thought "it'll never happen to me"
Please wish me luck with this. I know I was depressed while on them and now I'm still depressed without them.
