Fiance Cheated on me.... difficult circumstances?

S

Sleeping with eyes Open

New member
My fiance and i have been dating for 4 1/2 years. We have 1 child together. We are both in our mid 20S

she admitted to it on her own behalf (only admitted to 1 time, then later i got the second guy out of her)
She cheated twice
2 different people ( one ex, one random dude from work)
once 2 years in and then again 3 years in
she says only once with both guys.
she also says no sex, that it was limited to kissing and touching
said she did not love me at the times when she cheated
9 months ago our son was diagnosed with leukemia
since then we have both changed a lot
she says the guilt was too much and finally had to say something
she did not tell the whole "truth" at first and only told about most recent cheating
next day after a fight she thought things where over and then admitted to me that their was another time
she never intended to tell me about that guy and was going to go to her grave with it
she is regretful and shows remorse about both cheatings and wants to stay together
also she says that now after everything weve gone through with our son that she is shure she loves me now

I thought i loved her but after everything we/I've gone through i am very confused about what to do.

So its now been about a yr and half since the last guy she says she cheated on me with and is now "sure she loves me"

Does she deserve another chance?
Should I trust her?

Its been 2 months and i have no clue what to do; stay together or break up?

Please help!
She only cheated a total of 2 times... not 3
sorry for the confusion
Also, she did begin seeing a therapist, and we are now attending therapy sessions together.

They have not helped me or my anguish. I still dont know what to do?

How long is it supposed to take for me to figure it out?
How log is too long?
 
I would say stay with her for the sake of your son. He needs a family and if you two break up, he'll only feel like he's living in a broken family. I'm sure you both can build the trust back. She just really needs to get herself together. I still can't believe she's cheated on you three times. That's pretty bad. It only meant she wasn't sorry at all for doing them. Just don't have intercourse with her anymore. All I can say is she's reaping what she sowed in the first place. If she makes mistakes, at least be true to who you are and don't make any mistakes like her. Otherwise, others may well accuse you for the same things too. Show her mercy and forgive her. Give her one last chance and if she breaks it, leave with your son.
 
This is hard because a child is involved. If there were no children i'd say leave the s.l.u.t but anyway...
How many chances will you give her? She has done it 3 times already that you know of, If you think you can forgive her and trust her again then work at your relationship and stay with her. If not then perhaps ya's should talk about going your separate ways.

If she didnt love you 3 years in the relationship how can a sick child make her realize she does love you? Why did she agree to marry you and have a child with you then go away and betray you and your child due to her own selfish reasons? So because she didnt love you when she cheated it makes it ok? She'd have a lot of answering to do if i was her partner, thats for sure!
 
look you didn't marry her she was and is a free agent.
I wouldn't BE with a guy 4 yrs. unmarried, child or no child.
she took no vows.
and that's how I see it.
 
Trust me when I say, women don't kiss and tell to rid themselves from guilt, at least not to the man they were disloyal to. She informed you merely because she wanted you to know, not out of guilt, but to throw it up in your face, this is a typical action of a woman under the age of 25, now don't get me wrong, this doesn't mean she is a bad person, dysfunctional yes, but not bad. Women do this to get your attention, be it bad, be it good, whatever her reasons she wanted you to know. Why she cheated and why she may cheat again, is not because she was sexually attracted to this guy or wanted sex, women under the age of 25 don't cheat for sexual reasons, they do it for attention & control. To think she may never cheat again is a hit and miss, her words of not repeating her actions are not nor should not be accepted by you. To stop this from repeating itself again is to guide her into ways of helping her dysfunctional life. Go on line and try and find a therapist who specializes in couples counseling, one who will see her alone for a while then bring you into the sessions. You can't change her, she needs to change her internal self, and this is typically done by talking with someone who has knowledge & skill in why people cheat & what to do to prevent it. Does she deserve another chance? yes, can she or should she be trusted again? hell no! She needs to do things that prove to you she has changed, and she will do this not by words, but by her actions. Good Luck & I do hope you take my advise & get this girl into therapy.
 
I would never be able to trust ever again. You will now always be wondering.....where is she.....who is she with....where is she.....Zero tolerance towards ALL cheating bath scum.
 
Dont trust her run away she is just sucking u in!!!! So u just need to tell yourself when she says she wants to stay together just think what she did!! And with another man!!!
 
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