I have a fiancé with a 16 1/2 year old daughter and he doesn't understand why I get upset that they are constantly under a blanket together on the couch or in our recliner cuddling under a blanket together, or they will wrestle and he will pin her in very awkward positions that I don't find appropriate, but then when I try to "cuddle" with him I get every excuse in the world as to why he isn't comfortable with me. Her and I weigh the same and fit in the same clothes and he has used the excuse "that she is smaller than me" and "that she just climbs on the couch or into the recliner with him and gets under the blanket". Why can't he just say "NO" she is 16 1/2 and I think there comes a point where enough already.
The other day I come home from work and he said he was going to nap as he goes to get under the covers on the couch with her sitting at the opposite end already under the blanket. I was awestruck at the fact that I have had several talks with him about how he never has time to cuddle with me and then I just get home from work and instead of saying do you want to take a nap with my me or anything of the sort since he goes to plop down on the couch with her. I then walked away as he told me what he was going to do because I am just beside myself and then follows after me and asks what's wrong when he already knows what's wrong. So I explain to him yes it is part jealousy because we have only been together four years and we use to cuddle all the time and now I guess I have been replaced or I don't even know really what is going on but I explained to him that he has time for everyone else but me and especially her and he just doesn't get what I am trying to say to him.
Then the next day I walk out of the room and she had gone behind the recliner and was messing with him and shaking the recliner and he grabbed her and flipped her partially over the back of the recliner after I just talked to him the day before and when I come back in the room she is face down in his lap and under his breath he made a comment to her. He did have a blanket over his lap but to see that after all that I said to him and after I told him how I felt I was beside myself. I am sure he saw the look in my eyes how much it bothered me, but he played it off like it was no big deal and then pushed her off him. I don't want to over react (and lose the best relationship I have ever had) but I am at a loss on thoughts of what I should do or how else I can approach this situation.
He also has a son, and he is 15 and I stated to my fiancé that what if he saw us getting all cuddly all time wouldn't he think it was kind of wrong or inappropriate. And all he could saw was no. I honestly and truly feel that nothing sexual is happening and the thought has and will never cross my mind, but the fact that she is a fully developed 16 1/2 year old and he is a grown man bothers me.
He sees nothing wrong with his or her behavior and I don't want to come between them by any means and I don't want to over react but I just feel once a child hits puberty things should be different. (For Example: I explained to him because he falls asleep at times during their cuddle sessions. We all know what can happen to a man while he sleeps. It happens and men can't control it. I said to him what if that happens while she is laying with you. That's just not right. I told him that he can’t control it and it could happen and I think now that she is at an age where she knows what that is she shouldn't be laying with him especially while he is sleeping.)
Any suggestions?
The daughter is not my daughter it is his daughter.
The other day I come home from work and he said he was going to nap as he goes to get under the covers on the couch with her sitting at the opposite end already under the blanket. I was awestruck at the fact that I have had several talks with him about how he never has time to cuddle with me and then I just get home from work and instead of saying do you want to take a nap with my me or anything of the sort since he goes to plop down on the couch with her. I then walked away as he told me what he was going to do because I am just beside myself and then follows after me and asks what's wrong when he already knows what's wrong. So I explain to him yes it is part jealousy because we have only been together four years and we use to cuddle all the time and now I guess I have been replaced or I don't even know really what is going on but I explained to him that he has time for everyone else but me and especially her and he just doesn't get what I am trying to say to him.
Then the next day I walk out of the room and she had gone behind the recliner and was messing with him and shaking the recliner and he grabbed her and flipped her partially over the back of the recliner after I just talked to him the day before and when I come back in the room she is face down in his lap and under his breath he made a comment to her. He did have a blanket over his lap but to see that after all that I said to him and after I told him how I felt I was beside myself. I am sure he saw the look in my eyes how much it bothered me, but he played it off like it was no big deal and then pushed her off him. I don't want to over react (and lose the best relationship I have ever had) but I am at a loss on thoughts of what I should do or how else I can approach this situation.
He also has a son, and he is 15 and I stated to my fiancé that what if he saw us getting all cuddly all time wouldn't he think it was kind of wrong or inappropriate. And all he could saw was no. I honestly and truly feel that nothing sexual is happening and the thought has and will never cross my mind, but the fact that she is a fully developed 16 1/2 year old and he is a grown man bothers me.
He sees nothing wrong with his or her behavior and I don't want to come between them by any means and I don't want to over react but I just feel once a child hits puberty things should be different. (For Example: I explained to him because he falls asleep at times during their cuddle sessions. We all know what can happen to a man while he sleeps. It happens and men can't control it. I said to him what if that happens while she is laying with you. That's just not right. I told him that he can’t control it and it could happen and I think now that she is at an age where she knows what that is she shouldn't be laying with him especially while he is sleeping.)
Any suggestions?
The daughter is not my daughter it is his daughter.