Feelings of guilt after sex.?

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imadethisaccountforhelp

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Like yeah. I don't know I feel weird asking random people for help, but my girlfriend and I have had sex. Twice in fact. The first time we did it we both felt dreadfully horrible afterwards. Then this time I didn't feel as bad, but she is talking about ending it. She says that she doesn't feel the same about me anymore. It hurts to hear that. We were both brought up in a Christian household and we knew what was right and wrong by God. But like he forgives you for your sins and I tell her that and it doesn't seem to work. She says the spark is gone between us and there is nothing to look forward to. How not? Sex is not the only thing to look forward to in a relationship. In fact, I'd say it's the least important thing. I don't want to leave her, she doesn't want to leave me. I just don't know. We've been broken up for like 4 hours and she says she doesn't like it, but she needs to clear her head. Holy crap this is a long question. Just supply me with some info please? Thanks in advance.
Yeah it's not like I'm forcing her to love me, but like we talked so much about the future. I just wish I hadn't done it now. It feels like it ruined what we had that was so great. I'm building a time machine or something =/
Thanks guys. I appreciate it.
 
You should both sit down and have a long talk. Sex is to be saved for marriage if you are Christian, but we are human, we sin. God knows this and understands this. I think maybe you both did something you weren't ready for. I would continue the relationship but without the sex if possible. There is soo soo much more to look forward to in a relationship. Years of building trust, and companionship, marriage, children, its wonderful the longer you're together when you're with the right person. Every couple struggles, just ask God to help see you through it and make the right choices.
 
Sex is the ultimate physical manifestation of your feelings towards someone. Maybe when it came time to express her feelings of love towards you, she discovered they weren't there.

You can't force her to love you.
 
Give it a bit of space. You sound like a very understanding and considerate nice guy.

It is understandable that you would find conflict by going against the rules of the religion you were brought up with. Perhaps it is time for you and your girlfriend to make independent, more adult choices about what aspects of your religion work for you and you can cherish, and what parts are ok to let go of without fear of punishment. There can be balance.

Making independent choices based on your wants and needs does not make you a bad person! I hope you and your girlfriend can work this out together, it would probably help alot for the two of you to stick together and figure it out.
 
She is probably second guessing her decision to have sex. Maybe she just isn't ready for this responsibility and her way of dealing with it is pushing you away. Maybe you could explain to her that sex isn't what you want from her. And if sex isn't the most important thing in a relationship for you then you should respect her decision if she does decide she no longer whats to have it. Be there for her and support her and everything will fall into place.
 
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