I want feedback on this sonnet I wrote for school. The poems requirements are, must be written in Iambic Pentameter (can fall out of it up to 4 times), can use 2 near rhymes, must follow rhyme scheme ababcdcdefefgg, 2 examples of allliteration, and 3 examples of figurative language. Here is the sonnet:
Death rings in the air like a solemn bell,
The cold, hard days in which you have to grieve
Make you feel like you are dying yourself
And you think memories begin to leave.
The ringing stays as you keep on walking,
Can’t seem to shake it off your shoulder,
At pictures of the past you keep on gawking,
Your heart feels as heavy as a boulder.
But as your life continues moving forth,
You now know the memories will not fade
Think of the time you spent in all its worth,
And all of the happiness that was made.
A death frozen, like ice, sets in so cold
But it gets easier, or so I’m told.
Please don't be mean.. Thanks!
Death rings in the air like a solemn bell,
The cold, hard days in which you have to grieve
Make you feel like you are dying yourself
And you think memories begin to leave.
The ringing stays as you keep on walking,
Can’t seem to shake it off your shoulder,
At pictures of the past you keep on gawking,
Your heart feels as heavy as a boulder.
But as your life continues moving forth,
You now know the memories will not fade
Think of the time you spent in all its worth,
And all of the happiness that was made.
A death frozen, like ice, sets in so cold
But it gets easier, or so I’m told.
Please don't be mean.. Thanks!