Fear of..

B

bar_mar_mar

New member
I've had this weird fear since me and my boyfriend moved together(it has grown from an ant size to t-rex size). for about 2months almost everynight I dreamed that I was going to get raped, it never happened(in the dream) but the real fear, the not getting from the rapist, I woke up screaming. I couldnt fall asleep for hours..

We live in a very safe city and there hasn't been a rape case for as long as I can remember.

But, I'm afraid every morning when I walk to the garage, when I'm in the garage. I have to lock the car door as soon as I get in the car. I try not to run to the car because that would just feed my fear of someone chasing me. I know there isn't anyone there but still I have this fear that is ruining alot..

Our sexlife isn't what it used to be I know we live together now(I know moving together changes alot), but I also dream about us having sex and I love it, then I wake up and go "for fucks sake it wasnt real?", I "take care of things on my own". But I miss the sex, but somehow..I don't know this house doesn't seem like home, we've lived here now for about 1year, but still nothing.. I have to doublecheck the doors everynight before I go to sleep and all that shit.. I don't feel safe.

Please some advice. Sorry if it really doesn't make much sence..but I hope some atleast..because I seriously need help
 
Hm, the only thing I can tell you, is that usually when I have some sort of bad feeling, and I don't listen to it, then something bad happens. Whether it's what I originally thought or not isn't always the case, but something really bad has always happened as a result of me not listening to my gut.

Where I doubt there's a rapist living in your garage, maybe something is off just the same. You should try to figure it out. Dream counselors can help you, but that can get costly, and so can moving. I don't know. Try mentioning it to your boyfriend, and see what he says, if he feels odd about the place too, then maybe it's time to move on.

And, stupid as this is going to sound, maybe you should find the history on your house.
 
I think the fear of getting raped is on a subconscious level you being afraid of being unsafe, and it's just one possibility that comes out on top.

You need to figure out a way to make yourself feel safe in your own home. I'm not quite sure how because everyone is different on levels of security they need but possibly putting in more security procedures etc.
 
Take some self defense classes. Learn how to protect yourself, this will serve many purposes. 1) You'll be able to defend yourself in case someone does try to attack you in any way. 2) It will give you self confidence which is something every woman needs for themselves as well as to not look like a victim. Perhaps the newfound self confidence will either teach you to control your fear or banish your fear altogether. Worth a shot, right?
 
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