Favourite Homerisms?

Max Power doesn't abbreviate. Each letter is as important as the one that preceded it. Maybe -more- important!...... No, -as- important.
 
"Me loose brain uh-oh"
"I am evil Homer, I am evil Homer, I am evil Homer, I am evil Homer"
"I am so smart, I am so smart, smart smart smart, S-M-R-T I mean S-M-A-R-T"
 
thought of some more....

"Damn you,Rock'em Sock'em robots!!!!...Can't we all just get along?"

"Fame became like a drug to me....but what was even more like a drug were the drugs..."

"This gun had a hold on me....I felt this odd surge of power,like what God must feel when He's holding a gun..."

and this exchange between Homer,Bart (and Lisa,though she doesn't speak in this scene)

Homer: I won't die,that only happens to bad people

Bart: What about Abraham Lincoln?

Homer: ....uh...He sold poisoned milk to schoolchildren...
 
Most of my favorites have already been mentioned, but this bit from 1F16 "Burns' Heir" absolutely slays me...

BART: "Hello, Mr...Kurns? I bad want...money now. Me sick."
HOMER: Ooh, he card-reads good!
BART: "So please pick me, Mr. Burns."
HOMER: It's "Kurns", stupid!
MARGE: No it's not!
HOMER: Disregard.
 
Here's my favorite, but I'm going only on memory:

Marge: Does Bart seem different to you?
Homer: New glasses?
Marge: No, he seems upset about something.
Homer: Probably misses his old glasses.
Marge: I've wanted to show Bart more affection, but I'm afraid of smothering him.
Homer: Yeah, and then we'd get the chair.
Marge: That's not what I meant.
Homer: It was Marge. Admit it.

I love this scene because Homer is just somewhere else entirely during the whole thing and his deadpan responses are priceless.
 
"Gym (Gime)? What's a gym? *goes inside* Oh a Gym (gime)!"

"Oh, wait a minute! Actually, a woman is more like a beer. They smell good, they look good, and you'd step over your own mother just to get one! But you can't stop at one. You wanna drink another woman!"

Mr. Burns: I want to be loved
Homer: I see...Well I'll need some beer.

"English? Who needs that? I'm never going to England."

"Feeling Stupid? I know I am!"

Secret Service agent: "Scuse me, sir, where ya goin'?"
Homer: "I'm going to punch George Bush in the face!"
Agent: "Okay, is he expecting you?"

" All right! Just go ahead and sue me! Everybody else does! The average settlement is $68,000."

"If you don't like your job, you don't strike. You just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That's the American way."

"I saw this movie once where this bus had to speed around the city, keeping it's speed above 50 and if it's speed dropped it would explode! I think it was called, the bus that couldn't slow down."
 
Some season 9 and 10 favorites:

"Shut up shut up, if I don't hear you, it's not illegal!"

"If God didn't want us eating in church, He would've made gluttony a sin."

"It's a ring toss game!"

"That's what you get for not Hailing to the Chimp!"

"They put us on the "Waiting to Exhale" waiting list, but they said, 'don't hold your breath'."

"I'm the luckiest man in the world, now that Lou Gehrig's dead."

"This is a very, VERY proud day for us. Especially me! Your father, ME, beat city hall! It's just like David and Goliath, only this time, DAVID won!"

"You don't snuggle with Max Power, you strap yourself in and feel the Gs!"

"I'll start with a couple of pizzas, then a complimentary tango lesson, and I'll cap it off with a smooth, refreshing colonic."

"Outta my way, jerkass!"

"Don't you hate pants?"

"Hey, you're mad at me. That wasn't YOUR mayonnaise, was it?"

"That's your problem! You're thinking up here! (points to brain) You've gotta think down HERE, (points slightly lower on head) in the impulse zone!"

"Oh, I can't believe those goons muscled me out of my grease business. I've been muscled out of everything I've ever done. Including my muscle-for-hire business."
 
I don't think anyone has mentioned this classic yet.

*Bart stares at Homer as he sits among the jury*

"I know you can read my thoughts boy..... (to the rhythm of the Mewo mix commercials) Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow....."
 
"No Lisa. The only monster here is the gambling monster that has enslaved your mother! I call him Gamblor and its time to snatch your mother from his neon claws!"

It's more the way he said that was funny to me; dramatically.
 
I enjoyed the movie alot....

(outside of church)

Homer: Why can't I worship the Lord in my own way?...By praying like hell on my death bed?

Marge: Shh,they'll hear you...

Homer: Oh,please....Those pious morons are too busy praying to their phony-baloney God...
#######
Marge: How did the pig tracks get on the ceiling?

Homer: (walking by, holding the pig upside down on the ceiling,while singing his own version of the Spider-Man theme song) Spider-Pig,Spider-Pig,does whatever a Spider-Pig does....Can he swing,on a web?,No he can't,he's a pig,Look out,he is the Spider-Pig....
 
"Now let us never speak of the shortcut again"

"But Marge, I was a political prisoner!"
"How were you a political prisoner?"
"I kicked a giant mouse in the butt! Do I have to draw you a diagram?"

*while drowning*
"Maggie, quick, call Aquaman!"

"Lisa, Vampires are make-believe, like elves, gremlins, and eskimos."

"A bee bite my bottom now my bottom's big!"
 
"That's how you know the writers went to college. The bee bit my bottom and now my bottom's big."

I love Conan.

Season 9 and 10 have a lot of very funny lines. Most of the best humor from those seasons come from the dialogue, I think.
 
Mr. Burns: I suggest you leave immediately.

Homer: Or what? You'll release the dogs? Or the bees? Or the dogs with bees in their mouths so when they bark they shoot bees at you? Go ahead...do your worst!

[Mr. Burns shuts the door]

Homer: [strangled voice] He locked the door! I'll show him...!

[rings doorbell and runs away]

~~~

Homer: Ah, the last peanut. Overflowing with the oil and salt of it's departed brothers!

[tosses peanut, but misses mouth]

Homer: Wait a minute...something's wrong...!

[feels around under couch]

Homer OW, pointy! Ewwwww, slimy. Uh-oh, moving...! A-HA! [groans] Twenty dollars? I wanted a peanut!

Homer's Brain: Twenty dollars can buy many peanuts!

Homer: Explain how!

Homer's brain: Money can be exchanged for good and services.

Homer: Whoo-hoo!
 
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