fair to judge someone based on history?

F

frankfurter27

New member
There's a girl that I've been starting to date, and we get along great, we have quite a bit in common, and she has a good job. the only thing that kind of concerns me is that she's had a few partners, around 10. do you think it is fair of me to judge her based on that, or do you think that i should just leave it in the past and not worry about it?
 
if she's clean don't sweat it. i'd just embrace her past cuz without it she wouldn't be who she is now. and you fell for the person that she is now...
 
Well the first major concern that would come to mind is STDs. The next is fidelity. Can you really trust her? Then has she had that many partners in say that past 10 years or the past year? That would deffinately be a red flag if she had that many partners in the past year.

Otherwise without knowing her personally its kind of hard to draw a psychological profile of her. She may have a history of infidelity, maybe some mental issues going on. She might just be liberal with her body and comfortable with sex and otherwise the ideal partner. Its hard to say.

But two things I would talk to her about is each other's pasts, why you broke up with prior partners and if she'd be willing to get tested with you for any STDs.

If she's open to all that and she doesn't test positive for STDs, then maybe go ahead and give her a chance.

On the other hand, I can just imagine having a night out talking about sex and asking how many partners she's had sex with and she sort of pauses and sighs and says "oh about ten". I mean I know how many women I have had sex with. I don't say about 8. I say I have had sex with 8 women. So if she's saying "about whatever", to me that may mean she's really had sex with more like 20 men. Which if that's true she's either a porn star or she gets around a lot. And for me that would be a deal breaker.
 
Well the first major concern that would come to mind is STDs. The next is fidelity. Can you really trust her? Then has she had that many partners in say that past 10 years or the past year? That would deffinately be a red flag if she had that many partners in the past year.

Otherwise without knowing her personally its kind of hard to draw a psychological profile of her. She may have a history of infidelity, maybe some mental issues going on. She might just be liberal with her body and comfortable with sex and otherwise the ideal partner. Its hard to say.

But two things I would talk to her about is each other's pasts, why you broke up with prior partners and if she'd be willing to get tested with you for any STDs.

If she's open to all that and she doesn't test positive for STDs, then maybe go ahead and give her a chance.

On the other hand, I can just imagine having a night out talking about sex and asking how many partners she's had sex with and she sort of pauses and sighs and says "oh about ten". I mean I know how many women I have had sex with. I don't say about 8. I say I have had sex with 8 women. So if she's saying "about whatever", to me that may mean she's really had sex with more like 20 men. Which if that's true she's either a porn star or she gets around a lot. And for me that would be a deal breaker.
 
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