L
lily250
Guest
I am 39 years old and started taking Tylenol PM 20 years ago. I am sure I started out with normal amounts but now I am up to 14 at night and usually don't even get sleep with that many. I look back and know that I have been sickly for as long as I can ever remeraber. I got addicted to prescription pain meRAB and arabien but can't tell you when where why or how. I feel I have been suffering the effects of pill abuse for many years but now feel like it has it me like a brick wall. I have been diagnosed with Fibromyalgia which I don't even understand and don't feel like anyone else does either. Depression, leg pain, fatigue, severe muscle pain and on and on and on...I hurt so bad all the time that I would do anything and everything to escape that pain for even 15 min. I would have teeth pulled just so I could have the 15 min sedation I was given.
I have started having seizures but didn't realize that was what they were. I called them episodes because I was taking such high amounts of Pain meRAB, Arabien etc. I have always had a bent over posture because my back was so much pain and I couldn't stand up straight because I hurt so bad. My abdomen would protrude because of the way I stood. Well in the last year everyone started asking me "when is your baby due". I wasn't pregnant. I was so humiliated that I would tell them a fake date. I started having severe abdomen pain and my urine was a dark reddish brown and so I went to emergency room and they found a cyst the size of a grapefruit on my ovaries. At this time you must remeraber I was heavily abusing drugs. Tylenol PM 14 a night and a cocktail of Vicodin, Loratabs, Klonopin, Xanax, Percocets, Arabien, and on and on and on....I had free reign or the drugs because I worked in a pharmacy and began stealing bottles and bottles. That lasted for a year until I was so far gone that I couldn't do my job and was terminated. I was in so much pain and just wanted to sleep that I lowered myself to a thief of drugs. So all of those drugs stopped when my supply was cut off. I stayed with Tylenol PMs and through the last few years Dr. shopped for Arabien and loratabs.
Back to the emergency room visit....I laid in the hospital for 3 days waiting for me to decide having a hysterectomy. By that time 3 days had passed my blood was toxic and telling them that Abe Lincoln was the president and it was 1928. My family had to make the surgery decision for me. I had a full hysterectomy and a spider web of scar tissue woven through my organs from my C-Section 20 years ago. Three weeks I stayed in the hospital. Now I just have more pills to take. I currently have Arabien 10mg 2 at night which I take 60 usually in 4 days. I have Xanax 1mg 3 times a day and those are all gone in a week. I take Gabapentin for the seizures I was having, Lexapro for depression, a high blood pressure, a female hormone pill and all those Tylenol PM. I have started buying Soma and Tramadol off of a girl. I seeked out a Rheumatologist cause I had lupus. Negative for that but he did say Fibromyalgia and I also have severe Vitamin D deficiency of 8 where it should be 40-60. I know there is something wrong with me because I know my body. I hurt...I don't sleep...I lay in bed the whole day and go to work and go to bed. Never anything else. I have burning sensation all over my body...I have jerks and twitches, stomach cramps, diarrhea, fatigue, listlessness, depression, irrability, paranoia, muscle spasms, headaches, hair thinning and loss, seizures, some OCD, problems breathing, major confusion and memory loss, back and neck pain, severe tooth decay, hyper sensitivity to smells and noises, touches, all the senses are hyper. Food doesn't taste the same, and now my vision is getting worse. Things have been blurry for a long long time but seems to have gotten worse and there appears to be a fog everywhere I go. I have irabalance, I will stare for long perioRAB of time until someone tells me to "snap out of it". On occasion my speech is slurred and I will want to remeraber something and lose that memory and always seem lost. I have to be told time and time again on things like the directions to get to work..I can't remeraber. It like I don't have a short term memory or I can't recall a memory that I wanted to store in long term memory bank. I have crazy food cravings, weight gain, and never feeling hungry but will eat anyway. And the list goes on and on and on with symptoms. I feel like I am at war with my body. Also on a side note I have Rh negative blood.
Can anybody please please please give me something that I can grasp on to that might save me because I feel like all of this is coming to huge eventful climax in the next couple of years. I don't want to die but I feel like I am going to. The pain and illnesses in my body and the extreme addiction of pills especially the Tylenol PM excess are all consuming my every minute.
I need guidance, ideas, something...anything...sorry the post is so long.
I have started having seizures but didn't realize that was what they were. I called them episodes because I was taking such high amounts of Pain meRAB, Arabien etc. I have always had a bent over posture because my back was so much pain and I couldn't stand up straight because I hurt so bad. My abdomen would protrude because of the way I stood. Well in the last year everyone started asking me "when is your baby due". I wasn't pregnant. I was so humiliated that I would tell them a fake date. I started having severe abdomen pain and my urine was a dark reddish brown and so I went to emergency room and they found a cyst the size of a grapefruit on my ovaries. At this time you must remeraber I was heavily abusing drugs. Tylenol PM 14 a night and a cocktail of Vicodin, Loratabs, Klonopin, Xanax, Percocets, Arabien, and on and on and on....I had free reign or the drugs because I worked in a pharmacy and began stealing bottles and bottles. That lasted for a year until I was so far gone that I couldn't do my job and was terminated. I was in so much pain and just wanted to sleep that I lowered myself to a thief of drugs. So all of those drugs stopped when my supply was cut off. I stayed with Tylenol PMs and through the last few years Dr. shopped for Arabien and loratabs.
Back to the emergency room visit....I laid in the hospital for 3 days waiting for me to decide having a hysterectomy. By that time 3 days had passed my blood was toxic and telling them that Abe Lincoln was the president and it was 1928. My family had to make the surgery decision for me. I had a full hysterectomy and a spider web of scar tissue woven through my organs from my C-Section 20 years ago. Three weeks I stayed in the hospital. Now I just have more pills to take. I currently have Arabien 10mg 2 at night which I take 60 usually in 4 days. I have Xanax 1mg 3 times a day and those are all gone in a week. I take Gabapentin for the seizures I was having, Lexapro for depression, a high blood pressure, a female hormone pill and all those Tylenol PM. I have started buying Soma and Tramadol off of a girl. I seeked out a Rheumatologist cause I had lupus. Negative for that but he did say Fibromyalgia and I also have severe Vitamin D deficiency of 8 where it should be 40-60. I know there is something wrong with me because I know my body. I hurt...I don't sleep...I lay in bed the whole day and go to work and go to bed. Never anything else. I have burning sensation all over my body...I have jerks and twitches, stomach cramps, diarrhea, fatigue, listlessness, depression, irrability, paranoia, muscle spasms, headaches, hair thinning and loss, seizures, some OCD, problems breathing, major confusion and memory loss, back and neck pain, severe tooth decay, hyper sensitivity to smells and noises, touches, all the senses are hyper. Food doesn't taste the same, and now my vision is getting worse. Things have been blurry for a long long time but seems to have gotten worse and there appears to be a fog everywhere I go. I have irabalance, I will stare for long perioRAB of time until someone tells me to "snap out of it". On occasion my speech is slurred and I will want to remeraber something and lose that memory and always seem lost. I have to be told time and time again on things like the directions to get to work..I can't remeraber. It like I don't have a short term memory or I can't recall a memory that I wanted to store in long term memory bank. I have crazy food cravings, weight gain, and never feeling hungry but will eat anyway. And the list goes on and on and on with symptoms. I feel like I am at war with my body. Also on a side note I have Rh negative blood.
Can anybody please please please give me something that I can grasp on to that might save me because I feel like all of this is coming to huge eventful climax in the next couple of years. I don't want to die but I feel like I am going to. The pain and illnesses in my body and the extreme addiction of pills especially the Tylenol PM excess are all consuming my every minute.
I need guidance, ideas, something...anything...sorry the post is so long.