I've got this english poem that my friend gave me to check and ask my opinion about it.
I'm not into English at all, so I need feedback for it, please? (ill tell him their others' opinions)
Weekend warrior goes out on the street
Believes in living two worlds while
Going slowly insane
At seven it’s time to go away
Into a much happier stay
To sleep in carpeted floors
Along side puppets and warriors
By Sunday the dread of wheels
Rolling away slowly peels
Scraps of the armor that constantly
Shields the split mind of young and old
From weekday’s forces that come to grime
Inside the world outside time
Weekend warrior wants to get of this maze
To the two fellow warriors across space
It’s a hard journey to finish races
For the mind that dwells in two places
Weekend warrior needs it to fight
This lonely life of learning
To find once again the heart’s yearning.
I'm not into English at all, so I need feedback for it, please? (ill tell him their others' opinions)
Weekend warrior goes out on the street
Believes in living two worlds while
Going slowly insane
At seven it’s time to go away
Into a much happier stay
To sleep in carpeted floors
Along side puppets and warriors
By Sunday the dread of wheels
Rolling away slowly peels
Scraps of the armor that constantly
Shields the split mind of young and old
From weekday’s forces that come to grime
Inside the world outside time
Weekend warrior wants to get of this maze
To the two fellow warriors across space
It’s a hard journey to finish races
For the mind that dwells in two places
Weekend warrior needs it to fight
This lonely life of learning
To find once again the heart’s yearning.