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<3 I <3 ANIMALS <3
Guest
Well, I came across this little gem in a bookstore while searching for a gift. Please, let me indulge you and write the first two paragraphs. I kid you not, this is compeletely verbatim. If you feel the need to shoot yourself in the head after reading this, feel free. I almost did.
"It was the beginning of summer holidays, and the early morning sun was just peeking between the curtains in Emily's bedroom. While still under the covers, Emily stretches deciding whether or not it was too early to get up. Gently putting her warm feet over the side of her bed she pads across the floor to the window. Here, she says good morning to the day, rests her elbows on the window-sill and wonders, "Now is this a sea, woods or garden day?" It does not matter where her Mother decides to go, for Emily has her special friends in all of these magical places. You see her playmates live in the mysterious world of the faeries.
Emily is a tiny little girl with the largest brown eyes that you could ever imagine. Her eyes twinkle with green sparkles whenever she laughs. Instead of walking, she skips and twirls wherever she goes. She runs like the wind, although not quite fast enough to keep up with the faeries. Emily is happy and loves just about everything. She has the most fun when she is wearing her yellow rain boots. She calls them her "Yellie wellies". Emily loves the boots because, in them, she can play outside when it is really wet. The garden is her secret place where she spends hours in her magical world of faeries, elves and pixies"
After reading this, I proceeded to vomit uncontrollably and was forced to purchase the book because I had ruined it. I attempted to give it to my friend as a joke gift, but he promptly returned it to me upon seeing the front cover (a picture of a small child giggling happily with a "faerie" in her hand). So now I'm stuck with this retarded piece of shit rotting everything in my house that it touches. Seriously, I can't believe someone published this. I suppose an extremely small child might be able to handle this sort of syrupy bullshit, but oh no, don't be fooled. I found this in the "adult non-fiction" section. ADULT NON-FICTION. WHAT THE FUCK. I still haven't been able to make it past the first page without emptying my stomach. Yellie fucking wellies.
I find myself depressed that this sickening monstrosity has been allowed on shelves, therefore I write this in the Life Sucks section.
"It was the beginning of summer holidays, and the early morning sun was just peeking between the curtains in Emily's bedroom. While still under the covers, Emily stretches deciding whether or not it was too early to get up. Gently putting her warm feet over the side of her bed she pads across the floor to the window. Here, she says good morning to the day, rests her elbows on the window-sill and wonders, "Now is this a sea, woods or garden day?" It does not matter where her Mother decides to go, for Emily has her special friends in all of these magical places. You see her playmates live in the mysterious world of the faeries.
Emily is a tiny little girl with the largest brown eyes that you could ever imagine. Her eyes twinkle with green sparkles whenever she laughs. Instead of walking, she skips and twirls wherever she goes. She runs like the wind, although not quite fast enough to keep up with the faeries. Emily is happy and loves just about everything. She has the most fun when she is wearing her yellow rain boots. She calls them her "Yellie wellies". Emily loves the boots because, in them, she can play outside when it is really wet. The garden is her secret place where she spends hours in her magical world of faeries, elves and pixies"
After reading this, I proceeded to vomit uncontrollably and was forced to purchase the book because I had ruined it. I attempted to give it to my friend as a joke gift, but he promptly returned it to me upon seeing the front cover (a picture of a small child giggling happily with a "faerie" in her hand). So now I'm stuck with this retarded piece of shit rotting everything in my house that it touches. Seriously, I can't believe someone published this. I suppose an extremely small child might be able to handle this sort of syrupy bullshit, but oh no, don't be fooled. I found this in the "adult non-fiction" section. ADULT NON-FICTION. WHAT THE FUCK. I still haven't been able to make it past the first page without emptying my stomach. Yellie fucking wellies.
I find myself depressed that this sickening monstrosity has been allowed on shelves, therefore I write this in the Life Sucks section.