Embarrassed to be back at Day Zero

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Secrets1983

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GREAT NEWS!!!!!

I am so happy for you! Well, good luck with Day 1. I know you have the power inside you to keep going.

Wishing you guys nothing but the best!!!! Hope you have a great day!
 
I almost feel like I shouldn't be giving advise to people anymore and I feel so guilty and ashamed. Yes, I'm beating myself up. I made it to Day 16, before I got so tired of the abdominal spasms and insomnia, I took some Percocet to so I could get some sleep, plus...

Part of the problem was enormous stress (if I can blame it on anything) along with the lack of sleep. Our house was burglarized and they took 90% of my wife's jewelery, plus many other items. Fortunately, I interrupted them in the process when I got home, so they were only in the house probably less than 2 minutes. I was up for over 40 hours continuous with everything going on and working with the police and investigators. The good news is they caught them (all teens with multiple arrest recorRAB) and apparently they have recovered the items. We have to go down tonight to ID everything. Within minutes of robbing our house they had already pawned the expensive jewelery.

Although it seems like a good excuse, I shouldn't have broken down and started using again. My stress was high, my withdrawals intensified, my resistance was very low, I was extremely tired and the drug used the opportunity to take over my thinking, as you know it can. I have taken it for the last 3 days in small quantities, but I have taken it.

So, here I am back at Day Zero again and starting to count all over. My stress level should be down after tonight recovering everything, especially getting my wife's engagement ring and wedding band back. So far this morning my mind still isn't functioning properly, because I am so tired (didn't go to sleep until 6:30 AM). I'm trying to get off one drug, while not get re-addicted to another. I'll take an Arabien tonight so I can get some rest, but I don't want to get addicted to them again.

Sorry if I disappointed anyone. :( Trust me I'm hardest on myself over this and yes, I know I shouldn't be, but I am - it's the only way I can stop again.
 
Denon my friend,

I am so sorry to hear of all that has happened. I am thankful that no one was hurt during this burglary!!!!! I am thankful you have been able to recover some sentimental items as well.

I am sorry that the stress got the best of you and you used. I feel like I am heading right down that same road. Don't beat yourself up, move ahead and work towarRAB day 1, 2, 3, 4, 5... and so on..... I am sure you are being hard on yourself right now but let the guilt wash off of you and start over.

Everything will be okay. "things" can be replaced and you and your wife are what are the most important thing right now. Does she know you used over the last few days?

Hang in there...... Just because you faltered does not mean you cant give advice... it means you have learned and can probably give better advice than some of us.... You have been there and done that.

HANG IN THERE and STOP beating yourself up......
You and your wife are in my thoughts!
 
What's done is done and in the past. You can't change it, so there's no sense dwelling on it. You're back on track and that's what counts.

I'm glad that your things were recovered!
 
Gosh......how I feel for you. What an awful thing to happen to you......hope you've managed to get your house back in some order.
Denon,slips are hard to cope with because we have feelings of guilt,shame,frustration and helplessness. Please remeraber that you need not feel this way.....I know how horrid it is to be back at the beginning again,but have strength that you've got the courage and stamina to start again. I know that even if I can get an extra day in between each relapse,then at least I will get there in the end. Ans so will you,my friend.
I will be thinking of you today and hoping that you've managed to get some rest and have got much lower stress levels. So glad you managed to retrieve some of the items taken that are special to you.
Here if you need me
love..........CC XOXOX
 
Denon..... Oh.. Denon.......

We want an update! How are you and the wife doing? Thinking about you buddy.. Let us know
~You know who!
 
Relapse is only bad if you DONT learn something from it. Take the experience, get back on track and learn from it. We are all here for each other and we are human. Addicted humans that are at least honest--there are way to many fake people out there to worry about a little relapse. Great job getting back on track

D
 
Denon, I'm just checking in after being MIA for a few weeks. Sorry to hear of your slip-up but geez, talk about overwhelming stress while you were already in a shaky state! I'm just glad to hear you weren't hurt -- that is so scary!

Anyway, remeraber I went off my taper because I was in such pain and I had that funeral. So of course, I got back up to my normal dose. THEN, last week, my son tells me he's hooked on heroin! OMG, I had NO idea. He started with -- guess what -- OxyContin. AND, he has helped himself to some of my oxycodone while visiting me. I am, of course, devastated and in tears most of the time. He's in detox now but is not erabracing the rehab idea. I am trying to taper again, because I know he will have to come here when he's finished detox, and I don't want any oxy around. I want to throw them all out!!! I can't believe he is going down the same path that I did -- heroin addiction in my 20's, and now oxy dependence due to pain. Sorry to get on my own soapbox, but I wanted you to know that I'm still here and I too am going to try again....I hope I can make as much progress as you have.
 
Good news - we got 90% of our property back, three people in jail and we learned a valuable lesson. I slept last night 12 hours, did not use any Oxy and I feel strong, clear-headed and great! It's Day one (again) and I think I have the fortitude to continue through this again. Things happen for a reason, and I honestly believe that it was all somehow connected together. I don't have the time to mention all of the coincidences that occurred to catch these people that occurred. It was almost unbelievable how many things happened to lead to their arrest and the return of our property.

I'm back on track and that's what matters!! I learned from it.
 
I'm doing OK so far today - been extremely busy to keep my mind occupied. Been taking pictures of my wife's jewelery for ID purposes, my guns, and other valuables. I have 4 court appearances next week and one (so far) the following week as the victim, plus a safe delivery. Purchased motion detectors today for garage. Wow! There's is no time for thinking about drugs!!!


I am SOoooo sorry to hear about your son. Heroin is cheaper than a pack of cigarettes these days! Something has to give!! But there is too much money in drugs and people can get bought off too easily to turn their back.

Gotta run - dinner time.
 
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