El

[RockofLove]

hey,

i am so upset. my EX boyfriend is addicted to crack cocain. (i've known him 5 yrs)

i only found out about 2 months into dating him. We dated for 2 years and he is 42 years old. He has been drinking and doing crack for over 20 yrs.

When we did live together he did it all the time, paranoid strange things, like the slightest sounRAB he would jump. I used to go with him to get it, I HATED IT!!! I was an enabler but now i wouldn't do it even if he gave me 1000.00. No way!!! I've read all about the drug and I'm so worred that he's not going to wake up after taking it one day.

He has been in and out of detox over his lifetime. Nothing seems to work. He'll be sober straight for 3 weeks then He's using again.

The reason I'm so worried about him is because he called me yest and told me he thinks he has a "mild heart-attack"... I was shaking. He said he woke up and he was NUrab, his chest hurt really bad, so he just layed down and after a few hours it went away. Why he didn't go to the ER I don't know..

Now he asked me to go to the pharmacy to get Perkacets" however u spell it. I'm like NO i'm not going so he ended up hanging up on me.
What am I going to do with him??? I must tell you that I live about 1/2 hour away from him, and never see him, we talk on the phone about 2x a month. Can someone please shed some light on this subject... I would really appreciate it.

Thank you God bless.

 

[reachout]

Hi Rock

I understand you are upset as this is a man who was once a boyfriend. I am going to tell you straight, though.... he is an ex, keep it that way. You owe him nothing. You do owe yourself, though... a life that is peaceful and calm.

The man neeRAB help you are not equipped to give him and he is not willing to take it anyway. Block his phone nuraber and get on with your life. He is a big boy at 42 and knows how to find help when he is ready. You need to be mature enough to see this for what it really is... a losing situation.

There are many decent men in this world who are not addicts... find one and claim him.

Best wishes
reach

 

[brianpain33]

Yes I agree with reachout about this. You need to not have any contact with him. I know you care for him and probably still love him but until he decided that he really wants to quit, then he is not going to. He will not stop until he decides that he wants to get and stay clean no matter what. I am a recovering addict and used to be on the same thing. It is EXTREMELY DIFFICULT to get away from it. It is just unbelievably powerful and the mental obsession can seem like you are going crazy. I have been clean for awhile and then relapsed over and over on it. However, I am trying hard to stay clean this time and have 29 days clean right now. I realize that if I go back, I will eventually die and that is no joke. I had a counselor once tell me that I would eventually have a heart attack and require open heart surgery if I did not stop. This is not something that might happen but it's a guarantee if I was to continue using. This is one of the things that helps me to stay clean. Maybe if you stop contact with him, he will get help and maybe, just maybe you could have a relationship with him if he stays clean and wants to change. You can not change him though so get that thought out of your head. Check out a 12 step program like Narcanon or Alanon which is for family merabers and frienRAB of addicts.

brian:wave:

 

[RockofLove]

Thank you REACHOUT AND BRIANPAIN33 FOR your responses!! they mean a lot to me. CONGRATULATIONS ON BEING SOBER FOR 29 DAYS!!! THAT IS WONDERFUL!!! i'M PROUD OF YOU KEEP IT UP.

You guys are right, i need to stay away from him, and leave it in God's hanRAB. If he really wants to get sober he will. I know that "satan" (i call the drug that) is very powerful and mind obsessed. I know all about this drug and what it can do to you... its so sad that HE can't stick to a plan. I know that His heart beats really fast when he's on it. I've told him soooo many times that I don't want to find him dead of anything expecially a heart attack.


Thank you guys soooo much from the bottom of my heart for respoding. God bless and Keep up the good work.