Dump your homemade Family Guy cutaways here!

Lois: Peter, I haven't seen you this mad since that time you got frustrated on that videogame.

(Cuts away to Peter playing Sonic & Knuckles)

Peter: I got you now Robotnik...
*ring loss sound effect*
Peter: Crap...
*ring gain, and various sound-effects*
Peter: Almost there!
*more sound-effects, as Peter gets a really happy expression on his face*
Peter: One more hit!!!
*ring-loss and death sound effect, followed by the Game Over tone*
*Peter twitches, each time faster*
Peter: DAMMIT!
*Punches TV Screen, fails to break it and instead hurts his hand.*
*Peter groans and frustration and eventually, starts crying*
 
Here's a cutaway they'll NEVER show:

Lois: Oh, I haven't been this humiliated since that time Peter & I went to New York City, and a local channel asked us to be part of their "dot-matrix animated" opening to their "Late Movie" segment.

"Creepy electronic music begins as we see colored dots come together then zoom out to show the word 'MOVIES'" "Then, we see silhouettes of dancing girls, followed by a mean cowboy who fires his gun then gets chased by a sheriff and his deputies who, afterwards, ride off into the sunset." "Next, we see a silhouette of a large pirate ship that sinks where we then see a silhouette of Peter as a shipwrecked sailor who sees Lois on a nearby island as a native girl." "He goes to her and they passionately kiss." "Finally, we see a silhouette of Charlie Chaplin come out from behind the island's palm tree, which Peter suddenly notices!"

Peter: Hey, wait!!! Hold it!!! Stop the music!!!

"electronic music shuts off"

Peter: Charlie Chaplin, what the heck were you doin' behind the palm tree?

Chaplin: Hey, don't ask me! I'm just following the script!

Lois: Oh, c'mon! What's the big deal? Let's just finish this up.

Peter: Oh, no! This makes absolutely no sense! I'm outta here! (Peter leaves.)

Lois: Peter, come back here!!!

Chaplin: Your husband's stupid!

Lois: SHUT UP!!! Who asked you?!
 
Although I don't have a real script planned for this, nor bother wanting to do anything beyond a suggestion. I'll give you two words....

COLORFORMS FURNITURE

There you go!
 
BRIAN: At least I let another animal play the piano instead of me...

(Cut away to the infamous playing piano cat from the YouTube videos)
 
Stewie: I wouldn't worry about it, Brian. Besides, Jillian's single again so, you know, there's your in.
Brian: Eh, I don't know, Stewie. Derek's only been dead for a few weeks. It doesn't really seem to be a smart move, like Peter's last Halloween costume.

Cut to a Halloween party being held at the Griffin's house. Everyone is in costume, enjoying themselves. Peter suddenly runs in dressed at Steve Irwin, a rubber sting ray taped to his chest and fake blood splattered all over himself.
Peter: (in a really bad Australian accent) Crikey! Sorry I'm late everybody! I had a little accident at work today and oh boy, does it sting!
No one laughs. Everyone looks horrified. Peter continues to look happy and gestures for approval.
Peter: Eh? Eh?

Cut back to Stewie and Brian.
Stewie: (turned off) Ooooo...
Brian: What?
Stewie: Low-hanging fruit Brian. Anyway, didn't South Park do something like that not too long ago?
Brian: Who cares. Besides, who the hell still watches South Park anyway?
Stewie: Is that what you think or is that what the manatees tell you to think?
Brian: Well I don't think it's...(suddenly loud, forced and drawn out) HEY WAIT A MINUTE!!!!
 
Meg: "Can we keep it, Mom? Pleeease!"
Chris: "It's so fuzzy!"
Lois: "I don't know, a pet is a big responsibility"
Peter: "Listen to your mother, kids. Critters are unpredictable. That's a lesson I learned back when I was a Pokemon Trainer"

*cut to Peter walking through a forest in a legal friendly version of the classic trainer outfit. Suddenly, Lindsay Lohan jumps out of nowhere. The screen spirals into the classic Pokemon battle screen*
Wild LOHAN appeared!
Peter preached Self Restraint....it's not very effective.
Lohan vomitted on the floor...Lohan fainted!
*cut back to the regular screen. Peter pokes her passed out body with a stick*
"Yeesh, she stinks like a Magikarp!"
*Peter exits, trying his best to avoid the vomit. No sooner is he gone,Quagmire enters, wearing a Pikachu costume with his face in the mouth*
"Why hello there! Let's have a Pikachu...aaaalriiiight!"
 
Peter: I'm getting promoted at the brewery? I haven't had this much responsibility on my shoulders since I was a bodyguard for Justin Bieber.

Cuts to Bieber playing laser tag, and is cornered by a 12 year old.

Justin: (animated to look only three feet high) Please, leave me alone.

Boy: What are you doing to do about it, (expletive deleted)?

(Camera pans to Peter standing next to them)

Peter: (to the bully) Could you do me a favor? See that fire extinguisher over there?
 
Peter: Does anyone remember my cameo on The Big Bang Theory?
(Cut away to a front door in The Big Bang Theory scene)
Peter: (knock knock knock) Penny! (knock knock knock) Penny!
(Sheldon and Leonard from The Big Bang Theory approach Peter and shout from behind)
Sheldon and Leonard: Hey, dummy! Penny's not home, she's in the hospital with a broken leg!
 
I've been wanting to do a Family Guy fan-fic for awhile, though I've been having trouble thinking up a good enough idea for a story. But here are a couple cut-aways I thought of:

Peter: Ladies and gentlement, here's Conway Twitty.
(then, in sped-up live-action footage, Conway Twitty sings "Surfin' Bird"; if it were done in real life it would need a vocal impressionist)

Brian: I once made a cameo in a television special, but got cut because my point of view was different from the message of the special.
(cut to the musical sequence from "Cartoon All-Stars to the Rescue")
Cartoon All-Stars cast: Ther'es a million wild and wonderful ways to say no!
Brian: Stop sniffin' this, and stop sniffin' that... (sniffs Garfield) Man, you're fat, bad cat! The money you spend on weed is money that can be spen ton the things that you really need!
Cartoon All-Stars Cast: There's amillion...
Brian: (interrupting, non-sining) WAIT! I can't do this... I can't be anti-drugs.
(the other cartoon characters react in shock)
Brian: (to Michael) So, Michael, got any spare drugs?

This one would contain a spoiler for those of you who haven't seen "Anger Management":
Adam Sandler: (angered, to his girlfriend) You mean to tell me this whole thing had been a set-up???
Girlfriend: (nervous) uh... Yeah, but...
Adam Sandler: No "buts", missy! You mean to say that a flight was delayed, my Carpenter's CD collection was destroyed, I was forced to park my car on the bridge during busy traffic, I was fined thousands of dollars, I had to sit in the backseat with a transvestite, I had to travel with that psycho therapist to visit his sick mother, and I was given a restraining order... ALL AS A SET-UP????
(slaps girlfriend)
 
Stewie: Oh come on Brian I've always been perfectly responsible with time travel!

Brian: Oh yeah, what about that time you went to meet Charlie Chaplin?



*Clip shows Stewie in a dress, walking in the 1920's*

Stewie (Talking on cell phone): So anyway Brian I've been walking around here for like five hours and still haven't found him. Yeah..Yeah.. I seriously am beginning to doubt if this scene is even going to be in the movie....wait! Oh my god there he is! Charlie Chaplin!

*Stewie runs over to him, phone still in hand*

Stewie: Oh wow Mr. Chaplin It's such an honor to meet you! Can I have your Autograph?

Chaplin: Uh.. Sure...Miss. What is that you were talking into?

Stewie: Umm.. It was a Hearing Aid. Yes, they have those in the 1920's, right? A hearing aid. And Nothing else.
 
I've had this one on my mind for a few days, so I figured that I would share it.

*Brian and Stewie are arguing about the debate of the week which this episode is inspired by*
Stewie: Oh come off it Brian, that's as contrived of a notion as an adult contemporary artist trying to act gangsta.
*cut to recording studio where Pat Monahan of Train stands next to his mic*
Pat Monahan(singing): I'm so gangsta/I'm so thug/Watch me cut a rug-a-dug/Doug like Quailman/Yo yo yo...
*Stewie walks in out of nowhere*
Stewie: hahahaha, nice *moves*. Wad.
*Stewie walks out while Pat stands there, disappointed*
 
Thanks to Peter, Joe, and Quagmire's drunken rampage after the results of the latest season of Hell's Kitchen, prohibition has taken over the city when Mayor West signs it into law. A dry Brian is desperate for a drink.

Brian: Come on Lois, I know you're holding out on me, just give me a little sip. I'll make it worth your while.

Lois: For God's sake, Brian, you're worse than Winnie the Pooh.

Cuts to the 100 Acre Wood. Pooh walks up to Christopher Robin, who's holding a pot of honey.

Pooh: Good morning, Christopher Robin. Might I have a small smackerel of honey?

Christopher Robin: Silly old bear, you know honey's not free.

Pooh lowers his head in shame as he follows Christopher Robin behind a tree, where a zipping sound is heard.

Pooh: (muffled) Oh, bother.
 
It's getting there in age, but I'll add another one too.

*Meg is crying as Peter tries to comfort her*
Meg: Oh my god, I can't believe that happened! I'm going to be a laughing stock for the rest of my life!
Peter: Well...uh, look on the bright side! It could always be worse!
Meg: Worse?! How could it be worse?!
*cut to a room, where an Asian man and a government agent are sitting*
G-Agent: So let me get this straight. You guys get a jeep, fill it with propane tanks, drive it towards Gasglow airport at an incredible 30 MPH, but a few blow up with you two inside, your buddy get's burned from head-to-toe, and you couldn't even get the jeep in the building?
Man: Uh...yeah, that sounds about right.
*G-agents stares at man deadpan. He snickers, a little bit at a time, and then outright begins to laugh loudly, tears streamming down his face while pounding the table*
G-agent: Hahaha O-oh...hahahaha oh my god! You're a joke! Hahaha you two are a *bleep* joke! Hahahaha! And Glasgow?! Of all the targets in all the country, you pick Glasgow?!
Man: *tearing up* I-It was convenient!
G-agent: Hahahaha! A-and what kind of driving was that? You couldn't wait to blow them up until you at least crashed into the building? Hahahahaha! A-are you that quick in bed too?! I bet you are!
Man: *starts crying* N-no...
G-agent: Dude, you are! I so bet you are!
*man begins to sob*
Man: Hahaha! H-hey, John! Hahaha John! Are we taping this?! I want future generations to know what a loser this guy is! Hahahaha!
 
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