Dump your homemade Family Guy cutaways here!

Stewie: Burtram knows better not trying to trick me. Not after the last guy that tricked me at that birthday party.
***Cut To A Kid's Birthday Party Outside. Stewie's about to hit a pinata***
Pinata: Hey kid, don't hit me and I'll give you a wish.
Stewie: Hmmm... Alright.
***Stewie Takes The Pinata & The Pinata Runs Away***
Pinata: It's called 'acting' sucker!
***Pinata gets blown to bits by Stewie's rocket launcher***
Stewie: And that's called 'marksmanship'. HA!
 
Peter: I haven't seen Stewie this sad since he went to that birthday party where Shaky the Epilectic Clown died.

(Cut to a birthday clown making a balloon animal)

Shaky: Here you go little boy.

Stewie: (seeing a switch for a strobe light on the wall) Hmm, wonder what this does?

(Stewie hits the button, and the large strobe light knocks Shaky through the wall like a giant wrecking ball)
 
(Brian and Stewie are playing Sorry, Brian draws the next top card)
BRIAN: Sorry! (Brian takes one of his pawns from start and places it on Stewie's pawns on the board and sends that pawn of Stewie's back to its start)
STEWIE: Yay, gay!
BRIAN: YOU SUCK!
 
Chris has joined the track team, and is doing surprisingly well for his size.

Chris: Ha ha! I'm leaving everyone in the dust! I bet I could even outrace Jesus!

Jesus suddenly zooms past Chris, leaving a trail of dust into the horizon while yelling "ANDALE! ANDALE! ARREBA! ARREBA!"

Chris: ....Aww....
 
Quit trying to kill my thread.

Lois: Why don't you ask your boss for a raise?
Peter: Are you crazy? I don't want to get on her bad side! That's like what happens when you push Barney too far!

Barney: A-hyuck, hyuck, hyuck! Let's all pretend! Let's pretend we're pirates!
Boy: No, I want to pretend we're superheroes.
Barney: A-hyuck, nope! Today we're pretending we're pirates!
Boy: I WANNA BE A SUPERHERO!
Barney: A-hyuck, nope, nope, we can be superheroes some other time!
Boy: NO I WANNA I WANNA! WAAAAAAA!!

Barney: Aw that's it! NOW YOU LISTEN KID; YOU'RE GONNA COOPERATE WITH THE REST OF US OR YOU CAN--
Boy: SHUT UP, you're not my mom!
Barney: RRRRROOOOOOOAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRR!!!!! *Barney savagely attacks the boy like a true dinosaur would, ripping him to pieces in a violent mess*

Barney, with bloody mouth: ANYBODY ELSE WANNA BE SUPERHEROES???
Kids (shaking): N-n-n-n-n-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o.....
 
Loosely based on this

Peter: God, this is worse than when I worked with all those monkeys.

--Cut to an office where tons of monkeys wearing are drinking and celebrating, as we see a chart indicating an increase in sales. Peter walks in and stops the music.--

Peter: Everybody listen, I'm sorry but the sales haven't rised, they've... (moves the chart to indicate sales have really decreased) ...gone down.

The monkeys stop celebrating and pause for a while, looking confused at each other. They all jump towards Peter and start biting and scratching him viciously.

Peter: AAAHHH!!! GET THEM OFF ME!!!
 
Peter: Hey Lois, are you done yet?


(Lois is finishing up fixing her hair in the bathroom)


Lois: In a minute, Peter.


(Lois holds onto her left earring.)


Lois: It's show time, Synergy.


(Lois's ear ring magically fixes her hair to look it's best. Then, walks out of the bathroom.)


Peter: Wow, Lois, you haven't looked this good in years!
 
Peter: This is more shocking that Spider-Man's new costume.

(Cuts away to Peter Parker in Spider-Man costume in bed snorring)

Parker: Zzzzzzmmmmfgkk blabbering blatherskite.

(Suddenly, Gizmo Duck's costume hurls into Parker's bedroom, and assembles iself onto his body. Moments later, Parker wakes up in Gizmo Duck suit.)

Woah! What is this, it feels....... more unconfortable than my regular costume.

(Second's later, Scrooge McDuck arrives.)

Scrooge: There you are, Fenton. I've been looking all over for you.

Parker: Uh, there seems to be some kind of mistake here..

Scrooge: Poppycock! I've got alot of work for you today. Time's a wasting.
 
I gotta get this one written down before I forget it. I'll bet this is something a lot of you would find funny if they did it.

(Meg, Lois, Peter and Brian stand together. The situation seems tense.)
Meg: Mom, this is entirely unfair! Why can't I see Jonathan?
Lois: I completely forbid you to see that boy. Damn it, Peter, would you talk to your daughter?
Peter: I dunno Lois, it might be a bad idea. Like the time I guest-starred on that '80s cartoon show.

Cut to a recreated opening of the 1980s animated Heathcliff show. The music is exactly the same ("Heathcliff, Heathcliff, no one should, terrify their neighborhood...") but the animation has been altered a bit to include Peter amongst the cast at every opportunity. Otherwise the opening plays out the same.

(Cut back to Peter, Brian, Lois and Meg. Peter looks smug. Lois looks furious)
Lois: What the hell what that??!!
Peter: (confident) That was "Heathcliff and the Cadillac Cats".
Lois: (aghast) WHAT??
Peter: You didn't watch it?
Lois: Peter, I'm in my 40's. Why the hell would I have watched childrens cartoons as a teenager?
Peter: I'm sure if you had seen the show you would have laughed.
(Brian interjects)
Brian: Peter, let's just...
Peter: What?
Brian: ...let's just stop right there.
Peter: What??
Brian: Referencing something without adding any commentary at all is not funny.
Peter: (still confident) Well, I'm sure those who watched the show found it funny anyway.
Brian: But you...you alienate a huge chunk of your audience that way.
Lois: I agree, it's a lazy attempt at humor.
Brian: It hinges entirely on familiarity and absolutely nothing else. It's not funny.
Peter: (like a child) Shut up. You guys don't know anything about humor!
Lois: Whatever, Peter.
(Lois and Brian walk off, leaving Peter alone with Meg.)
Meg: (happily) I liked Heathcliff, dad!
Peter: Shut up, Meg.
 
Kudos, DarthGonzo! That was really good. It seemed just like something that would actually happen on Family Guy, and for the record, I used to watch Heathcliff and the Catilac Cats, even though I was about 15 when the series debuted. :D
 
I wasn't born when Heathcliff's run started, but thanks to Nickelodeon in the 90's, I became quite familiar with it. Even as a kid, I preferred just about everything else Nick ran at the time.

I love this cutaway. One of the best on here.
 
(Olivia returns and spurns Stewie upon seeing him)

Brian: Wow, Olivia's not too happy to see you, huh?

Stewie: I haven't seen anyone this bitter since Cheetarah dumped Lion-O.

Cut to Lion-O holding the Sword of Omens

Lion-O: Thunder- thunder- thunder- Thundercats- (pauses, then points sword directly at Cheetarah) HOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
 
I agree.

And I would have loved to post a cutaway, but I still need some time thinking about it so that way it doesn't sound like a poorly executed joke (Which it might be unfortunately).
 
Here's one I've wanted to see them do for a long time. Let's say....

Stewie is talking about something, then the show abruptly cuts to commercial.

It's an obnoxious live-action ad where some middle-aged man on a subway keeps talking to everyone, saying the word "fiber" three times in every sentence. It's a fully believable ad, until a gunshot rings out and the man collapses on the subway floor. Stewie walks in carrying a big rifle and says, "I WASN'T FINISHED!"

Cut back to Stewie talking.
 
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