Dump your homemade Family Guy cutaways here!

Would be remotely funny if Peter himself was the gecko or if he didn't cave. Remember, the Gecko never actually asked us to switch, he'd just complain that people kept calling him instead of real Geico.

Peter: Sweet! this is better news than that time when Chris was born!

Doctor: I have good news Peter,
Peter: Oh god, it's a boy?
Doctor: I just saved a ton of money by switching to Geico!

bleh, that sucks too >.>
 
Lois: Did you buy Chris his school supplies, or did you spend the money on a Chia Pet?
Peter: .....Um....he'll have an academic advantage with the Chia Pet, right?
Lois: Honestly, Peter, nothing you do surprises me anymore. You've become like Jack Bauer!


Peter is lying under a tree, when suddenly Jack Bauer comes rushing up.
"DID YOU SEE A--"
"You're looking for someone who planted a bomb, right? And he's Islamic, right?"
"WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT THIS??"
"And now you're going to torture me, right? And I'l deny I know anything until you've inflicted maximum pain, so the audience gets the message that violence always works."
"Um....yeah....hey, HOW ARE YOU GETTING INSIDE MY HEAD?? I'm calling CTU!"
"Don't bother. The people there are probably having minor domestic squabbles that are distracting them from their work. And there's probably a mole there working for the terrorists. And they're still short-staffed with little security, so the terrorists will proably get inside during some hour of the day."
Jack on phone: "That's...that's right. You're right." Jack hangs his head down and sighs. "Isn't anything I do outrageous anymore?"
He suddenly gets an idea. "I KNOW! YOU'LL NEVER EXPECT THIS!!" He shoots himself in the head.
Peter: "You're not really dead."
Jack gets back up and wipes the blood off his head: "....You're right, %$@#-it."
 
That was a good one. A bit long for a cutaway though. I could see a whole episode based on that. After all, since Fox owns the rights to both shows they have access to the actual animators and voice actors, so it's always a possibility.
 
Brian: This is as sad as watching a british guy tell yo momma's jokes.

British Guy 1: I say... your mother is a classy lady.

British Guy 2: YOU WANKER!!! (smacks the other guy with his glove)

Don't be surprised if you hear that one again... somewhere.
 
Actually this would be funnier if, after Peter's comment, we see Meg, Chris, Lois, Brian and Stewie sitting around somewhere eating breakfast and watching TV...when suddenly Peter simply comes crashing through a wall and falls in a heap. End cutaway.
 
Peter as always does something stupid and stewie says This is almost as bad as the time we crossed over with the powerpuff girls Cuts to the beginning scene of the powerpuff girls: Sugar, Spice, and Everything nice. These were the ingredients chosen to make the perfect three little girls Stewie cuts the narrator off "What the deuce! how the hell do you expect to make children out of household kitchen items! That defies any sort of logic and reasoning ever. And why would a single man want three little girls This has child molester written all over it."

Cuts back to the main storylinw
 
PETER: Remember that time I remembered that I remembered that I remembered that time when I remembered that I remembered that I remembered that time?

LOIS: ...
 
peter:brian can you believe this kevin trudeau guy? he's amazing!
brian: I saw one of his infomercials today.

kevin:there was a study on jalapenos that was kept secret by the government for years.it was discovered that if you eat 20 peppers one at a time and have cancer your cancer will be gone.

co host:wow I did not know that.

kevin:because the government kept it a secret.

peter:I love rabroad,especially those guys who hate 4kids.

poster:eva has been ruined by 4kids they changed asuka's name to celeste.

poster: yeah we should give al kahn a swirly.
 
(Peter is pouring lighter fluid on an already lit barbeque)

Lois: Peter, don't you think that's enough lighter fluid?
Peter: Lois, when I'm done here these will be the best damn hot dogs you've ever tasted:
Stewie: Ugh, I remember the last time I added fuel to the fire.

(cut to Stewie in his bedroom. He's wearing worker's overalls and he's just finished painting the walls of his room)

Stewie: Now then. All finished.

(Stewie sits down and literally starts to watch the paint dry. Seriously. He just sits there for about 4 to 5 minutes. He coughs a couple of times, maybe yawns once or twice, but otherwise just sits there watching the paint dry. Eventually, after about 5 minutes, he gets up and begins to walk away.)

Stewie: All right. Now to see what the internet thinks about that.

(Stewie leaves. Smashcut to the next scene.)
 
BRIAN: Peter, do you remember your cameo in a 1980's Milk - It Does a Body Good TV commercial?

(Cut away to a parody of the 1980's animated/live action Milk it Does a Body Good TV commercials)

PETER: Milk it does...uh...milk, milk, lemonade, around the corner, fudge is made! (whispers to an animated cow) pass it on!
 
Peter: Do you remember the time?
Lois: What time?
Peter: I haven't asked you the moment yet!
Chris: Dad, knock knock!
Peter: Who's there?
Chris: See, you forgot the time you told a very funny knock knock joke! But there's no time for a cutaway for this!
 
Peter: I haven't had a religious experience like that ever since I look those drugs from the planet Arrakis.

(cut to Peter sitting at the kitchen table,his eyes completely blue,hands on the table and staring out into space)

Lois: Peter,what's wrong?

Peter (shouting): FATHER,THE SLEEPER HAS AWOKEN!
 
Let me try, i've got a real doosey, here.:p

Peter: In case you haven't noticed, i have a good sense of direction.

Brian: No you don't! Remember that time we went to Australia, and you got lost in the outback?

(Cuts away to Peter wandering in the Austrailian outback.)

Peter: Hooooly, crap, i am soooo lost.

(A kangaroo mother hops up to Peter.)

Kangaroo: Excuse me, good sir. I'm looking for my lost baby joey. Have you seen him?

Peter: Hmmmmmm, Joey, Joey, Joey. Hmmmmm. Nope, can't say that i have. Say, i'm kinda lost myself, and i was wondering if you can give me a lift back to the hotel?

(Peter rides in Kangaroo's pouch singing about how fun it it to ride with her.)

Peter: Oh, there it is.

(Peter jumps out of Kangaroo's pouch.)

Kangaroo: If i may give you some helpful advice, GO ON A DIET!

Peter: Well, she's no fun.
 
(Peter, & Lois are going to the theater, and spot the 'Yogi Bear' movie poster)


Peter: Aw crap! Not Yogi Bear! Who are they gonna screw up next, Bugs Bunny?!


(Cuts away to Warner Bros. board room meeting.)


WB Exec: I'd like to announce that we have plans to make a live action CGI 'Bugs Bunny' movie, but since times have changed, and people don't care about Bugs Bunny anymore, we're going to change his name to what we were originally going to name him. Efrum The (Censored) Rabbit. This time, he'll be more hip, and funky fresh for today's movie going public. The film will also star James Rolfe, 'The Angry Video Game Nerd' as Elmer Fudd. We have high hopes for this picture.


(Cuts away to Bugs Bunny reading Variety Magazine.)


Bugs Bunny: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! THEY CAN'T DO THIS TO MEEEE!
 
(Brian and Stewie in a crowded subway train)

Stewie: This train is too crowded! I've had to elbow through six fat guys just to get through the door!

Brian: I haven't been in a place this crowded since we went to the beach.

---------------------------

(Peter and Brian are at the beach. The place is so crowded that the ocean is filled with people as far as the eye can see)

Brian: This place is always so crowded...

Peter: Hey, look over there!

(A shark attacks two people in the ocean, pulling them down)

Peter: Sweet, a free space!

(Two more people parachute into the open spots)

Brian: Figures.
 
Hey I thought of one:

Lois: You need to be careful Peter. Remember what happened the last time you came into a lot of money...
(Peter stands into a money bin resembling Scrooge McDuck's bin from Ducktales. He's wearing a bathing suit. Without a care in the world he leaps off the diving board and lands, hard, on the nearly solid pile of cash)
Peter: AHH!! OH MY GOD!! That's not soft at all!! (he's clearly broken something). Someone call a doctor!! (continues to moan and writhe in pain.)
 
Peter: I haven't seen a movie this sad since Bridge to Terabithia...

Cut to Leslie trying to swing across the river. The rope breaks and she falls in. Stan and Kyle from South Park appear.

Stan: Oh my god! They killed Leslie!

Kyle: You bastards!
 
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